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thisiscourtney Offline
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I feel like I'm letting it happen again. - January 4th 2010, 02:17 AM

I've posted on here before about how my best friend once molested me, except to this day I can't stop blaming myself for never flat out saying, "No". All I did was scoot away and cry while he would keep trying to touch me. When I finally told someone, we never really spoke again.

About a month ago I met this super awesome guy online. He's so intelligent and creative, and we were on webcam for the first time the other night, and we got into talking about sexual experiences. He asked if we could use each other to get off, and not wanting to lose him, I agreed. He asked me to take my clothes off, but I quickly made up the lie that there were other people in the room, and he said we would just wait until later.

Now he's waiting for me to get online. He has been for the past few days. He's been sending me messages asking where I am. I just feel like I'm going to go on there one day and do it, even though it's the last thing I want to do. I feel like it's impossible to say no because I don't want to lose someone again. How do you get the courage to say no?
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FallenAngel86 Offline
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Re: I feel like I'm letting it happen again. - January 4th 2010, 04:35 AM

First of all, I want to let you know that the EXACT SAME THINGS happened to me! Two years ago, one of my best guy friends was at my house, and he started trying to feel me up and do things with me. And i just kinda pushed him away a little, and tried to say no without sounding too mean or anything, and we ended up having sex. And to me...it was rape. I didn't want it, i wanted to stop him, i didn't like it. But to him...well he doesn't know that what he did to me was wrong because when i told him "no" i didn't say it firmly enough I guess...but i know how you are feeling about that. and as far as your online relationship goes, well chatting to get each other off is one thing. Personally, i don't think that one is a huge deal, its up to you if you are comfortable with that. Webcam though is a way different thing, and even a little dangerous. He could easily screencap pics of you with your clothes off, and who knows what he could do with them from there! You should tell him how you feel right now, because if he is a good friend with true intentions, then he will respect the fact that you want to wait or might not want to do that at all. And if he is just a guy who's trying to get you naked on webcam, well thats painful, but it's better to learn that now than to let yourself really fall for this guy, and learn it later. I feel very apathetic for you because all of this has happened to me, so i understand. I hope you can figure something out.
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topov Offline
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Re: I feel like I'm letting it happen again. - January 4th 2010, 07:21 PM

Dont let yourself get pushed into doing something you don't want to do.
Just tell him that your uncomfortable doing that sort of thing, and you'd rather not.

Ticklish Tattoo!

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*Rainbow*Rider* Offline
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Re: I feel like I'm letting it happen again. - January 4th 2010, 08:01 PM

Take a deep breath, and tell him no. If he's as good as you think he is then he'll respect this, and if you like him as much as you say you do, maybe one day you'll have the strength to tell him why.
Good luck.

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Make it your business to start some fires

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ForeverAutumn* Offline
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Re: I feel like I'm letting it happen again. - January 5th 2010, 08:10 PM

Hey -

First off, whether or not you told him 'no,' you never said 'yes' either. Crying and trying to keep him away, these are both signs that show you didn't like what he was doing. I can't stress this enough, Courtney, what happened was not your fault. He ignored the signs, which makes him at fault, not you. He's the one who chose to hurt you when it was clear you didn't want to be touched that way.

With the guy online - honestly, if you're not comfortable doing something, there's no reason you should do it. If he's worth it, he'll understand if you tell him the truth. If he pushes you to take your clothes off, you need to stand your ground and tell him no, and if he doesn't get the message that should be a sign. I know you said you don't want to lose someone else, Courtney, but he's no loss if he pushes you into something you're not comfortable doing. You deserve much, much better.

Let me know if you want to talk about anything, okay? Take good care of yourself. x

how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
self-harm free since 06.10.11.
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