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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Eighmeekins Offline
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Unhappy PTSD? - January 6th 2010, 04:11 AM

Its been about seven months since the last time I was assaulted (it went on for about nine months). I didn't really talk about it even though I was put into weekly therapy. About two months ago the nightmares started...the flashbacks followed. I recently started talking about what happened and my therapist tells me that she thinks I have PTSD... I'm not entirely sure what thats all about. She want me to join a group and possibly additional therapy. That really doesn't sound like a good idea to me. I have been hospitalized many times the past few months for suicide attempt, suicide idealization, self harm(cut to deep, hit a vein :[)...I'm pretty much sick of hospitals. it almost makes me not want to talk to her about my ED(no one knows) because it feels like everytime I do talk about something I'm sent to a mental hospital. I don't even know what I'm writing all this down for. I just need to vent. I feel like I can't talk to anyone without them over reacting. My main thing right now is my need to sleep. I haven't slept more then two hours in two months. I can't take it anymore. I was relieved when the assault stopped but now it feels like im reliving it everyday. I go to school and I see him, it's not a possibility for me to change schools. I just want out. I can't take this anxiety and depression anymore.
   
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Re: PTSD? - January 6th 2010, 03:21 PM

Hey there Amy. I'm sorry that you are struggling with this right now. No one deserves to be hurt like that and I know it's hard trying to cope with everything that follows after having been assaulted. Don't give up on yourself though, okay? What happened was not your fault and you deserve to heal. And don't give yourself a time limit either. It doesn't matter if it takes you 7 months or 7 years, everyone heals at their own pace. You can't rush it.

I really think you should be as open and honest with your therapist as you can be. I know it might seem scary and you might be risking hospitalization, but the fastest way to heal is through being honest with him/her. Also, group therapy might be a good thing to try. It's something different and you never know, you might get a lot out of it.

Have you thought about talking with your doctor about the sleeping problem? They might be able to prescribe you something to help. Everyone has trouble sleeping sometimes, but when it starts interrupting your life and becomes an on-going problem, it's definitely a good idea to get some help.

I hope you are doing okay right now and be good to yourself Amy. PM me if you ever need to talk.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: PTSD? - January 8th 2010, 09:16 PM

I have talked to my doctor about the sleeping problem. We havent found any medication that is effective yet. I always seem to be that 1%. Like ambien for isntance can on extremely rare cases, make you hallocinate. Guess who's a rare case???
   
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Re: PTSD? - January 8th 2010, 09:48 PM

Hey amy, I'm so sorry this has happened to you...
A few years back, I was the victim of sexual assault in my school.
I have occasional flashbacks and I thought I was worthless. I got support from friends and family, so it wasn't as bad as it for me as it is for you.
I can 100% relate to you, and it's probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
After he assaulted me, I've been disgusted by men. In fact, I'm so disgusted, I'm possibly a lesbian... I can relate with you on that as well. (:
Now the PTSD is probably because it's haunting you - the flashbacks are a symptom of PTSD. Now group therapy would actually be a good idea. Still to this day, no one I know has gone through the same thing... and that was one of the hardest thing... that no one understood me.
That should really help you, I hope. (:

Did it happen at school? Even if it wasn't in school, he can get expelled or suspended for something like that. The guy that assaulted me was transferred to another school, and that helped loads... talk to your parents about that, I'm sure it's an option. ^^

If you need anything else, please feel free to pm me! (:
Feel better!
I'm here!
   
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Re: PTSD? - January 8th 2010, 10:24 PM

My dear girl, like you mentioned you just need to rest what has happened to you is horrible to say the least and trust me he will pay in this life of the next – Hopefully both! I understand why your shutting people out however that’s not going to help you at this point.

From the looks of things you’re pretty bent out to shape because of everything that has happened to you, I wish it would all go away but that isn’t the case. You need to talk with your therapist and follow their every instruction because they have your best interest in mind. I suggest spending more time with loved ones.

I know this sounds silly but try sleeping in the same room as your parents for a night or two, sometimes the comfort of having them around will really help you put your mind to rest and actually give you a brake from all of this.

Also I defiantly have to stress to you that SH is a big mistake and that’s a road you don’t want to go down because its very grim on the other side. I think you need a brake from school and you need to talk with the authorities and have this situation investigated.

Other then that I just want to see you be strong you need to keep your chin up and don’t be afraid of him any longer you’ve got to stick up for your self, remember you’ve got the law on your side.
   
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Eighmeekins Offline
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Re: PTSD? - January 8th 2010, 11:46 PM

To teenspirit: it didnt happen at school it happened at his house, his sister and i were best friends so i was there everyday. and he cant get expelled or whatever. when all of this went down i had to go to a meeting with the head oh my school and the teacher i talked to. because this guy is four months younger then me he was at the middle school as an eight grader and i was at the high as a sophomore. my school is k-12 private school. because in the handbook at the middle school it didnt say anything about sexual assault or rape or anything nothing was able to be done to him. it was reported to the police but it didnt make it to court. and i really dont want it to, as i said his sister was my best friend for years. anyway there really wasnt anything in the high school handbook about sexual abuse either. what there was, was sexual immorality. so i got a catagory 3 infraction card( the worse you can get, sort of like a referal) and i was suspended for five days and put on recommendation for expultion. so i really didnt get a lot out of the school. i really dont want to open that can of worms again.

To ryan1: i understand that sh is a long and hard road. its something that ive been struggling with for several months now.

thank you for the support and the responses.
   
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