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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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D33 Offline
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Emotional abuse - January 16th 2010, 11:11 PM

I'm going to get straight to the point. My mum wont talk to me when i try to talk to her she's always busy and lately i've been lazy and she's been calling me a bitch and screaming at me regularly if i cry she tells me off about an hour ago i went into her room and told her i loved her and she said it back but then called me a liar and now i feel like crap because i think maybe it is me that's being a 'bitch' all the time but i cant help but feel angry or upset. Last year i was raped by a family friend and i think i'm over it but every time we argue i feel like just blurting it out. I can't though because i know it would effect my family so much more than it has me.
   
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Re: Emotional abuse - January 17th 2010, 01:17 AM

Hey there,

First. welcome to TeenHelp, I'm glad you found us and decided to reach out. I'm sorry that you and your mum are having such a tough time right now.

I hate to be blunt, but if she doesn't know you are hurting, she can't help you. Telling her you were raped will hurt, but it won't hurt her more than it hurts you. You were raped, it wasn't your fault, and it's not something you can get through without support. You shouldn't give yourself a time limit to heal. Healing takes time, and you will never be 'over' it, how could you be? But you can get to the point where it doesn't hurt anymore, where you learn to deal with it and move on, but you'll never forget it.

Could you try writing a letter to your mum, letting her know how you feel about the way she is treating you? She might not realize how hurtful some of her behaviours are, she might also not know how much you are hurting. If you can't talk to her, write her a letter or send her an email, let her know what's going on.

If you can't tell your mum about that rape, tell your school counselor. Let someone know, you do not have to do this alone.

If you need anything, don't hesitate to pm me.


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Re: Emotional abuse - January 17th 2010, 05:42 AM

Try talking to your mum about the way she's treating you and see if you's can fix your relationship now before it's too late. If you feel like you can't talk to her right now then maybe write her a letter or an email as Casey suggested.

I'm sorry that you got raped. That must of been awful. I think you should tell someone whether it be your mum, or a friend, or anyone else you trust. You shouldn't have to go through this alone and it will feel like a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. Take care.


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Re: Emotional abuse - January 18th 2010, 01:03 AM

Hey there. It sounds like you are dealing with some really hard things right now. I'm going to talk a bit about both things, but I'll start with the emotional abuse.

I know words or the lack of them can really hurt. It's hard having a good relationship and open communication with our parents sometimes. I think the best thing you can do, is what has already been mentioned. You need to talk to your mom and tell her how what she's saying and how her ignoring you, etc. are making you feel. Sometimes parents forget how much their words can hurt. Hopefully by reminding her, she will be able to be a better mother to you emotionally.

Also, I think you should tell your mom what happened to you. I know what it's like to have it all bottled up inside; it hurts. You don't have to keep it in. You can just blurt it out to her, sit and have a nice talk or, like Casey mentioned, you could write a letter. It will be hard, but you deserve support through all of this. Plus it will help your mom to know why you have been upset and angry lately.

And it's okay that this is going to affect your family. Just because it may change things a bit, does not mean you shouldn't tell. I'm betting your mom would want to know. It may upset her that you were hurt, but she will want to be there for you.

One other thing I wanted to add is to think about trying counseling. It really can help to talk about things and a therapist can help you work through the anger and whatever else you are feeling. There are a lot of emotions we go through after being hurt like this and it's nice to have support when dealing with them.

I hope you are doing okay right now. Be good to yourself and please feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk or just someone to listen.
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