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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Briana Offline
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Moving on? (verbal abuse) - January 18th 2010, 05:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ever since I was little I was verbally abused by my grandmother. I didn't think I would ever actually talk about it on TH. But I watched something about the movie "Precious" and the actress said that now is the time to stand up. I am ready to.

My grandma always called me stupid, ugly, worthless, and told me I had no friends. She did this for, I would say, 14ish years of my life. I don't have memories of her being nice. I never did anything to her. She would barely write "I love you" in my cards, unlike everyone else in my family. She also lived with me and I was always stuck at home with her. She passed away March of 2009. I had no sadness for her. I felt very bad because it seemed to me that I was free. I know it is awful to say, but it is true.

Now that she isn't around, I should be okay right? Like things shouldn't haunt me. They do though, some nights I get awful flashbacks from times that were tough. Like one day, when I was 16, she said nasty things to me for a whole day. I was stuck with her. I couldn't leave. Now everytime I see or hear the word stupid, I think of her.

How do I make it all go away? I want the flashbacks to be gone and the fear of the words: stupid, ugly, and worthless. I don't want these memories anymore. Is there anything, I can do?


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Last edited by Briana; January 18th 2010 at 05:32 AM.
   
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Re: Moving on? (verbal abuse) - January 18th 2010, 05:29 AM

Hey Briana-
I don't exactly know if there is anything specifically that you can do to tell these flashbacks and stuff like that go away. I was verbally/emotionally/physically abused as well by my ex- step dad. It's not something you can wake up the next morning and everything will be okay. Even if she is gone now. It will take time. Time really is key. When your ready for the day, look in the mirror and find something positive about yourself. It can be anything. Compliment yourself. Its a start, right? I can relate to how your feeling. When your girlfriend and friends tell you that your pretty do your best to believe it. Remember that we would never lie to you. Even if we are your friends, we're going to be honest.
I will be truthful with you. Your probably one of my best friends here. You are beautiful, okay? You know where to find me. I'm always here for you. No matter what. As well as Brittany and Taylor. As well as lots and lots of other people here at Teen Help that care about you. Things will be okay. Give it time dear. <3

Lots of love.




   
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Re: Moving on? (verbal abuse) - January 18th 2010, 05:22 PM

Briana,

There really isn't anything you can do about those flashbacks unless if you are willing to go to therapy or something, I deal with flashbacks too so I know where your coming from. When you start getting the flashbacks, try and think about something good in your life.

Babe, you need to realize that you are not worthless, ugly or stupid. You are actually quite smart, and soo friggen gorgeous! As for worthless? Your the furthest from being worthless, you have a tight knit group of friends on here. Also, if I do say so myself, you have a good girlfriend, who is wanting to be there for you.

I understand that you weren't upset when she passed, because now you don't need to deal with her anymore, and her verbal abuse. If I went though the same thing with my grandma I'd understand why you weren't sad.

You are a strong person Briana, and I know this you can get through this, and I will be here when you need me. I love you <3

Brittany
   
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