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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 23rd 2010, 12:40 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Basically i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, the whole of year 2009 was a nightmare, he bullied me as if we was little children, made me feel worthless, used my family problems against me such as 'you will end up a nutter like your mom' 'you have no one but me your family dont care' etc which is all prob true but still lol! He chatted up numerous girls, got drunk all the time, im still never allowed to go out with friends (last time i went out on night time was October) and then there was the violence.
It started off with slapping, then he would scratch me all across my boobs on purpose so i couldnt where anything slightly revealing. Then it was biting, like biting and ripping my skin, and a common one of pulling my hair and smashing my head into walls and stuff.
Anyway, in October, he did something really nasty with girls and i said please leave me alone il get over it just give me few minutes to myself (i let him get away with murder he like controls me its pathetic i know), he knew he had done wrong couldnt deal with it and punched me in the face three times and several times in the stomach and run off. My friend had to pick me up as i was bleeding and throwing up. I dumped him for the very first time. I was getting life back on track, my best boy mate was starting to develop into something beautiful, i was going out a bit everything. BUT he started stalking me wouldnt leave me alone, got in my head, (so i attempted suicide in decemeber) i havent been same since to be honest, really weak and down so i got back with him just before christmas.
New years eve, he was drunk and showing off at this party, flirting. He didnt talk to me all night. I went outside for cigarette, he came out punched my arm so many times next morning we had to go to a&e as it was swollen (wasnt broken luckily though).
He swore that was it he had learnt, he cried (never seen him cry) and we carried on.
Last saturday he did something sad to me again and this time i did argue back for once, i shouted at him (usually too scared of consequences) and i pushed him. However, he punched me in the face mulitple times so hard that he knocked me out cold, when i woke up he is crying over me right, 5 minutes later he punches me out cold again!
Only now has my nose gone down a bit and my black eye faded, the cuts in my mouth still there though.
He says this is it now no more he has learnt and if it happens again we got to split because its not fair on me but he says he is going to change like all the time so its probably bollocks.

I cant escape this relationship, i dump him he doesnt leave me alone, i get back with him and its exactly the same abusive crap. He has tried and hasnt bullied me or nothing but the violence and stuff i dont know. Also he is kind of vile and not botherd about me except for sex. Tuesday, he was being horrible, i came down in a waist skirt with a top tucked in showing my boobs a bit, bam, nice to me kissing me nice as pie. Now i feel like i have to dress slaggy and be really sexual in hope that he will be nice to me for it. Its working but i dont want to be there trying to please him all the time just to be loved. If i do something wrong i am punished for it day after day, he knocks me out and he does stuf with other people and we have to forget about it WITHIN a day else he says im 'making sly comments' if i try and talk about it or try and get reassurance.

im sorry this is so long but am i always going to be unable to escape? what am i meant to do? im kind of asking for help from those who have experienced.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 23rd 2010, 03:06 PM

hun im so sorry you are going through this
however the only way i think you can escape this relationship is to report what he is doin to the police.

i hope you are ok and take care
pls pm me or find me in chat i would love to talk more and support u as much as i can

june
xx
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 23rd 2010, 03:13 PM

I agree. This is honestly a shit relationship to be in... I suggest you talk to someone, friends, family, someone there who can help you get out as cleanly as possible without too many complications. If needbe, feel free to go to the police! He's abusing and hurting you and we hate to see you in pain.

but don't feel like you can't get out of this because you can!



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 24th 2010, 11:06 PM

You need to get out of this relationship right away. You never should have given him any second chances. He's only going to keep hitting you, and what if it gets worse the next time? I don't want to scare you or sound blunt, but he could end up killing you if you don't get out of this.
You need to report him to the Police and get him thrown in jail, talk to a friend or family member about this and see if you can use some money to move out and get as far away from him as you possibly can, and you could even get a restraining order against him so he can't come anywhere near you anymore.
   
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 25th 2010, 01:01 AM

You need to report this guy and get a restraining order against him and leave him for good that's the ONLY way things are EVER going to get better for you. Trying to stay in this relationship is only going to end you up in the hospital or dead.





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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 26th 2010, 04:00 AM

This isn't a relationship. This is just plain abuse. This boy has done nothing to deserve you. He doesn't give you the love you deserve, the proper attention you deserve, or the affection. At your age, having a boyfriend shouldn't be worrying about when he's going to hit you next. It really shouldn't. In cases like this, police need to get involved. He needs boundaries. Get a restraining order, make sure he can't get close to you. And find a boy who will love you, will care for you, and will stick up for you. Not one who beats you or hits you. Find a boy who you deserve, and who deserves you.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 27th 2010, 11:49 PM

thanks for support,
im still scared and unsure what to do i dunno if i can escape
i dunno
thankyou love to you all
x


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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 28th 2010, 01:53 AM

Do you have friends or family you can talk to about this? Maybe a trusted teacher or councelor? Anyone there who can physically help you out here since I'm sure the situation is pretty scary to deal with.

Either way, you CAN get away from this. You gotta believe that!

I suggest talking to someone, and possibly getting a restraining order, if just for your own piece of mind.



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 30th 2010, 06:44 PM

I don't have experience in such a situation. But I agree with what everyone else has said.
Leave this guy and report him. Don't go back to him and live your life. Don't even talk to him privately because you don't know what he might do next. Leave him alone and go and live your life. If he has left any scars then report him. But break up with him, something that only hurts you is nothing to be with even for a second. Don't be scared but you have to do the right thing for your own healthiness.
   
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - January 31st 2010, 11:51 AM

The only reason blokes like that (you cant really call him a bloke since people like him are nothing to me) beat woeman is becouse they are cowards, and when they cry afterwards, it shows that they are even bigger, pathetic losers. Call the police, get a restraining order againt him and hopefully he will be locked away and maybe beaten up by someone in prison so he knows how it feels.
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Re: (Really long) Abuse from Boyfriend AGAIN - February 2nd 2010, 06:56 PM

I'm so sorry he is doing this to you, I truly am...
The ONLY way to stop this is to report him to the police!!! PLEASE, for your own sake, do so. Do not forget that you are a future mother and you have a long life ahead of you with a wonderful person who will truly love you. What is happening now is not a relationship. It is just a big pile of crap. Just know that it is not in any way your fault. For the sake of yourself and your future, report him...

PLease let me know how things go
Take care
Melody <3
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