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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
KatieShowalter Offline
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Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 06:08 AM

My name is Katie.

I have moderately severe obsessive compulsive disorder, which triggers anxiety, depression, and insomnia.

I have a boyfriend. And I think sometimes he takes advantage of my incredibly low self esteem in order to control me.

Bad things have happened. Really bad things.

But I'm afraid to talk about them. I've just now discovered this website. I normally call suicide hotlines when I'm depressed.

I'm hoping this is better.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 01:03 PM

Hey Katie,
Welcome to the forums, I hope you receive all the help you need here.
If your boyfriend knows about how low your self-esteem is and how hard you can sometimes find daily life then he is taking advantage and I would suggest you get rid of him. I know it's more difficult than I make it sound but he is not helping you if anything he is probably bringing you down more and making things more difficult for you. There are plenty of nice guys out there who will appreciate you for the person you are and help you rather than work against you. Your boyfriend is not a good influence on you and he is making you worse than you would otherwise be. Work and concentrate on you for the time being. You need to be as confident and happy as possible before you can bring someone else into the equation and expect them to love and respect you.
I hope this helped and welcome once again, PM me if you need anything.
Love Paige xox
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 02:28 PM

I agree with Paige. Your boyfriend is using you as his own toy. As soon as he's done with you he'll break up with you and find another girl. I know that sounds harsh but it's true. You can find someone better than him. You don't need someone to bring you down, you need someone to lift you up. I really hope you find someone on here you can open up to about this, it should help.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 03:48 PM

You came to the right place for help!!
Yeah, you're bf is taking advantage of you. Which is not okay. If
he did such horrible things..you should go to the police, or your parents
or a school counselor.

I Agree with Erik, you need someone who will help bring you up.
He definitly brings you down and makes the situation alot worse.

Please PM me if you need anything at all.


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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 06:07 PM

I am agreeing with paige and erik.

a real boyfriend should be doing the opposite of what he's currently going, and should definitely be avoided. There's so many people out there .. alright? and i know everything's gonna improve soon.

Remember we're always here to talk to .
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 25th 2010, 09:43 PM

It's lovely to meet the four of you, and thanks so much for answering.

It's nice just knowing there are people out there who aren't vile

And, as you mentioned, ma'am, the whole breaking it off thing isn't so easy. Especially if it is the sort of person my boyfriend is.

I'm not so sure there's much I can do about it.

And I'm a bit shy about messaging people and such. But if any of you want to talk, feel free to message me.

I do love company.
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 26th 2010, 03:56 AM

What you have is not a boyfriend. That's a title given only to those who deserve it, which he definitely doesn't.

Leaving this relationship and finding a boy who you truly deserve should be your priority in this case. No one should have to suffer the "bad things" that you've suffered. Do yourself a favour instead of doing him a favour. Get out and find a boy worthy of your love and affection.

What makes it so difficult to break it off with him?


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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 26th 2010, 09:39 AM

Breaking it off is far more difficult than you make it sound.
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 26th 2010, 01:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieShowalter View Post
Breaking it off is far more difficult than you make it sound.
What makes it so difficult? We can't help if we don't know why


Follow on Twitter @Thomas_TGT

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"Let us be loving, hopeful, and optimistic, and we will change the world." - Jack Layton
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 26th 2010, 01:33 PM

Because of... How he is.

I don't want to make him angry.
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 26th 2010, 02:52 PM

This is a sad situation. I hear it a lot, as I'm sure almost all of us have, that a boyfriend stays angry with his girlfriend to the point where she's afraid to leave him. Look into the future a little bit. Around April or May you could still be with him and feeling miserable or you could be away from him and happier. Yes it will be hard and probably will be some drama afterwards and probably him crying begging you back (one of the cheapest moves ever by a man, wait, boy) but even though we don't know you you do have people supporting you 100% on here. I wouldn't even break up with him face to face. I'd do that over a text, phone call, etc. He needs to learn to respect females. You deserve better.


To the world you might be one person but to one person you might be the world

Failure isn't when you get knocked down, it's when you don't get back up
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 28th 2010, 12:00 AM

I might. I'm just scared. I'm not ready yet.
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 28th 2010, 12:17 AM

Hello, welcome to TH. I believe you've come to the best site possible for help. Everyone on here is very understanding, very caring and very helpful.
First off, for whatever things you've had to go through, I'm very sorry. You have survived that, and it shows you are a very strong person. I know bad things happening to you can leave scars, but they heal up with time. It does help alot to talk to people about it, people who you can trust, or councilling like a Psychiatrist can sometimes help.
As for your boyfriend, I believe you should dump him if you really feel he's taking advantage of you and trying to control you. You may have a low self-esteem right now, but you need to realize you deserve better, anything that's happened to you in the past is not your fault, and you really are a wonderful person who deserves much better, and there are way better men out there who know how to treat a woman right.
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 30th 2010, 06:36 PM

Hey there !! My username is Jacksonian.

Now onto the trouble, every other poster has said what you need to do.
Another thing you need to do is not be afraid. But this takes time.

So do you have any friends who can be with you as you break up with your boyfriend ? Is there anyone you can tell ? If you can, then have someone there with you as you break up with him. And remember, begin to be courageous. Don't be afraid.

And you also need to talk to someone, your parents, siblings and friends. You shouldn't go through this alone.

Last edited by Jacksonian; January 30th 2010 at 06:37 PM. Reason: correction
   
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Re: Hello, I'm new. Help, please. - January 31st 2010, 01:48 PM

welcome Katie. hope you like the site. its a rad site with some rad people.
now with that bloke boyfriend. its just as they said above leave him, and if your too afraid of doing it alone. do it in public? have someone stronger then him with you. something to ensure your safety.
And if you need anything send me a message. and ill do my best to help you outs.
Jah Bless.
   
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