I'm going to have to face him again

[xxpaigiexx]

My boyfriend has a performance at college and I said yes to going weeks ago.

I got sexually assaulted by someone I knew about 2 years ago... something like that. It turns out his girlfriend is in my boyfriend's class... so you've guessed it he will also be at the performance too. Hopefully I won't have to sit anywhere near him but knowing my luck he'll be on the same row or something.
Anyone got any tips for just keeping myself from hyperventilating.

Today when I saw my boyfriend he asked me if I knew this guy and my body froze up and all I could reply was yes what about him- bearing in mind my boyfriend doesn't know that it was this guy who sexually assaulted me so I shouldn't be so snappy with him.

I agreed to go to this drama performance a while ago so I will go, otherwise it just makes me look like a terrible girlfriend. I don't want to tell my boyfriend that this guy sexually assaulted me because it will probably just create problems with his friend and just open up a can of worms...so any advice given to me would be much appreciated.

[.Sarah.]

I know finding out about this has freaked you out quite a bit. But honestly your reaction is pretty normal in reacting to what he did to you. As you know via MSN, I'm here for you and I am proud of you for actually going to this event and not running away. Also, whilst this performance is going on, I suggest you practice deep breathing and implement it if needed. Another tip would be to have a solution in place, if you do start to panic for example phoning/texting somebody you trust (That can be me or anybody else you feel you can trust sweetie.) Consider having some rescue remedy to hand to help you. Oh and just in case you want another tip I would say eat something light before hand, so you decrease the chance of feeling faint and sip water.

As for whether to tell your boyfriend or not, this is really up to you. But talking out the pros and cons with somebody (The somebody can be me, if you want.) and that might help you in deciding if to tell him or not.

I love you girlie. <3

[Nostalgia]

hi, i had this trouble on the train today, a postman sat near me in the same 6 seat block at me and i was convinced he was looking at me, going to get off at the stop as me, which he did but nothing happened, he got off went his way and i went mine. the postman freaked me out big time and i mean big time. i was sitting there trying to control myself i really wanted to punch him but did not. looking out of the window helped me counting the lamp posts / street lamps, that helped. so maybe at the concert just concentrate on the show and your boyfriend who is in the show and forget about the boy ?

[xxpaigiexx]

I will try but it is really difficult... knowing what he did to me.
He'll know it's me for certain he'll also have enough front to come and speak to me and pretend it never ever happened.

[Nostalgia]

Originally Posted by xxpaigiexx

I will try but it is really difficult... knowing what he did to me.
He'll know it's me for certain he'll also have enough front to come and speak to me and pretend it never ever happened.

i no its difficult the train situation was difficult for me (my old postman sexually abused me when i was 11 - 16 years old ) so seeing a postman on the train and postman sitting in the same 6 seater bit as me freaked me out!! i found looking out of the window and distraction myself helped abit.

[WillO'Wisp]

I think it would be unwise to tell your boyfriend, he might go nuts on him or something, so you could go to the performance and just try to not look at him.
I do have a question...why didn't you report this guy to the Police? I think he should be in jail if he is sexually assaulting people.

[Jacksonian]

Talk to someone about this. Tell your boyfriend. You shouldn't live in fear because someone hurt you. Talk to someone and i suggest you tell your boyfriend and see how he react. If you don't then think of another better way to deal with this. Remember, you are hurting, which you should not be.

[xxpaigiexx]

JJ- I didn't report this guy to the police because it took me a long while to accept what he did to me. I blocked what happened to me out for months and it has only been more recently I have told people what he is really like. I think part of the reason I didn't report it or speak up was because at the time I didn't understand that what he did to me was wrong and not right. I just didn't think too much into it until the next time I saw him I freaked out.
Quite honestly I would not have had the strength to go to the police, emotionally that is.

Jackson- I don't think it's a good idea to tell my boyfriend because I know what he is like, he will not let it go. He would end up getting himself in a lot of trouble on my part and it's not worth him getting kicked out of college or excluded. I see no point in making trouble over something that happened so long ago. Plus he is friends with this guy's girlfriend and I wouldn't want to cause a rift with them because of me. I just don't want the hassle that comes with telling my boyfriend the truth. My boyfriend is not a violent person but if he knew the truth he would end up probably hospitalising this guy or leaving him in a pretty bad way.

[Magical Forest.]

Heya Paige,

Well done for still wanting to go to this performance, it takes great courage to do something like that.
Try to avoid him as much as you can, if he's near you, either try to move away or put all of your energy on focusing on something positive. Keep up the deep breathing, enjoy the performance as much as you can.
If you start to feel really anxious, don't let it build up. Try to see if you can ease it, but if you can't then walk out. You need to protect yourself as well as get through this.

I hope that it goes okay, we're all here for you


xx

[xxpaigiexx]

Well guys *gulps* tomorrow is the performance.
I am really nervous now... but I'm not going to allow myself to back out. I can't now. I just have to be strong for tomorrow I guess.

[AidanTheRepenting]

The saddest part about this is the fact that he - as you said - will probably have the audacity to say to you that it never happened. So he is basically calling you a liar to add insult to injury. He should be really made to see that he should be forever grateful to you because you did not tell your boyfriend who might have hospitalized him, you did not tell his girlfriend who might have left him, you did not tell police (although you did it not for his sake the effect is still the same) so you basically spared him from prison and public shame. Someone should really force him to realize that...