Containing the hurt and the shame.

[Kokoro]

Last friday, I was raped at school.

I have since reported it so it can be dealt with before he hurts anybody else. I have hospital and an interview today, but I seem to be coping well, still laughing and smiling.

Although I am not sure what to make of my feelings, I'm defnately hurt and ashamed but I don't seem to know how to show it.
Well, it's the second time something of this nature has happened, but I am unsure.

Can anyone relate to this?

[Nutty Nat]

i can relate to this,i have been sexually assualted twice once i was 14 and in school in a spanish resource room,basically a room with comps that the spanish department used,the second and hopefully final time was in college in november to december 2009 and im 17 now.i fell both ashamed and stupid and blame myself alot even tho i know deep down its not my fault.As to the part of not knowing how to show it well there isn't a defiant way of showing it,some people keep it locked inside them for years and just put a smile on there face,others become withdrawn so like i said there isnt a way to show it really just how ever u feel comfortable,i sugguest talkig to someone about it,maybe counsellor,as its hard to get thru alone.

[Magical Forest.]

Heya,

First off, I'm awfully sorry that it happened to you. It's one of the most horrible things you can experience during your life and it's so painful to deal with.
Well done for being so brave and reporting it, it takes so much courage to do that! I hope that things go okay with the interviews and such, they can be really intimidating, just keep strong

We all react in our own different ways to these things. Sometimes we repress our emotions at the time as it's the only way we can deal with it. Give it some time, and these feelings will let themselves show, it just takes a while for both your body and mind to get used to the idea of what happened.

If you ever want to chat at all, you can always PM me and I'll be happy to talk.
Take care
xx

[heartbrokenboy1990]

i can definately relate to that. i am so sorry that this has been happening to you. But i am happy that you knew to report it so that noone else get's hurt. you just have to take it one day at a time and think positive things about yourself. if u ever need anyone to talk to you are always welcome to pm or vm me and remember that we all care about eachother and want to help in the way that we can.

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hi Kokoro,

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. And for it to happen again is just horrible.
I think that you did a great and honorable thing by reporting it. Your very brave for not allowing it to happen to others girl and being strong enough to stand up to him. I do understand how you're feeling though. Your kind of suppressing your feelings subconsiously. This isn't really a healthy way to deal with it, but it is okay for the time being. Everyone has to do what they have to do to get by. Eventually, your emotions are going to come out, one way or another. I think that the more you talk about what happened and the more you share your emotions with people and confide in people, you'll be able to release some of the bottled up tension you have going on. I held something in for 7 years I just recently talked about and I'm feeling tons better.
If you ever need to talk just PM me. I might not be able to relate as well as other people can, but I'm always willing to listen.
Take care

[ChaosControl]

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through. Remember you have nothing to be ashamed of; it wasn't your fault. I hope the interview goes OK, and remember you're being so strong right now, keep it up, I know you can do this. It's going to be OK x

[Kokoro]

Thanks so much for your replies, it does mean a lot.
I just want to realise my true feelings towards this subject, I am kind of emotionless at the moment and confused.

Thanks for replying x