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DustySway15 Offline
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Need advice for getting help for the first time... - February 9th 2010, 03:43 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I was sexually assaulted 9 yrs ago and have never gotten help. My best friend is finally making me get help because we've discovered that all these rape dreams I've been having are flashbacks...Any advice on how to first start bringing it up? We'll be talking to my pastors wife tomorrow morning. Andi (my best friend, we act dated, but we arent now) knows a lot about what happened but not rly everything...but I had to spill to my dad last nite what happened...its the first time he found out about it...my mom knew a few months after it happened. No one has details other then it just happened except for Andi (since we had dated I spilled everything to him). What should I expect? What should I do? What are some ways to keep calm? I had a MAJOR flash back last night after spilling to my dad and dont want to do it again. I had Andi to help me but it was only through IM and I never let him in enough to help me with any of the flash backs. Though he knows about the dreams....

And what are some ways that I can suggest for him to help me.... He RLY wants to help but doesn't know what to do and he's scared of messing up and making things worse on me!

Last edited by DustySway15; February 9th 2010 at 04:36 AM.
   
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Re: Need advice for getting help for the first time... - February 9th 2010, 09:07 PM

Hey there. First off I'm really proud of you for deciding to open up and get help. That is such an amazing step to be able to take.

I know it will be hard talking about it with your pastor's wife, but you can do it. Sometimes you just have to just take a deep breath and let it out. Or if you find it hard to talk, I always feel it's easier to write things down. You could write a letter and give it to her to read before you sit down and talk. It's up to you. You just have to find a way that's best for you to let things out.

As for you boyfriend, you should explain to him what you want. Everyone is different. If you want him to be there for you to talk to, then tell him that. Or maybe you aren't ready to talk to him and you just want him to be kind of silent support for the time being. Just be honest with him about what you need.

I hope you are doing okay. Be good to yourself and keep talking. Please PM me if you ever need to talk.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Need advice for getting help for the first time... - February 9th 2010, 09:14 PM

I finally told Andi (my ex-boyfriend) what happened this afternoon in detail after I gave a general description to the pastors wife. It went 'pretty well' and come to find out she has a past too....so her husband and her are going to sit down w the 2 of us and help us both work this out. Eventually were gonna go talk to his Youth Pastor and his wife about things too. I just need a good support system and thats the best way I can find it rite now. Thanks!
   
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Re: Need advice for getting help for the first time... - February 9th 2010, 09:25 PM

I'm really glad things seem to be working out for you so far. It sounds like you have some good people in your life to support you and I know everyone on TH will be here for you too.


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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