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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
J.u.s.t.i.n.e. Offline
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He Was Arrested Today - February 12th 2010, 04:48 AM

Today the man who sexually assulted me nine months ago was arrested. I was kind of happy about it, but I honestly don't know how to feel right now. I don't feel any safer or relieved because I know they're most likely going to post his bail sometime soon until the court date. I'm just worried by my reaction of being rather emotionless about his arrest. Is it normal? Or does this mean that there may infact be something wrong with me?
   
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Re: He Was Arrested Today - February 12th 2010, 04:56 AM

Hey Justine,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. We all feel something different when something happens to us, and feeling emotionless because he got arrested is perfectly okay. It's even alright to be scared of him getting bail.

I know this is all hard to handle, so don't worry about what you do or do not feel. Any way you feel is perfectly okay, because that's how you react to the situation. We all react differently.

Take care, and feel free to pm me if you need anything.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

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"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: He Was Arrested Today - February 12th 2010, 05:08 AM

Jail, while is confinement from the public is really not so torchorous as people think. So I can understand your feelings. Considering they get 3 meals a day, TV, games workout (in most countries) and that they are allowed to bail out after doing something so disgusting.

You have every right to feel scared and unsure, the best thing is to talk to someone you trust about it.
   
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Re: He Was Arrested Today - February 13th 2010, 05:33 AM

Today I did go and talk to somebody I trusted. I also found out that they let the guy out with conditions until court and he will probably only get 3 years, because he said it was "consentual"! When my mom told me that that's what he said I started hystericly screaming and crying because the police are starting to doubt me more because of my memory gaps.
   
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Re: He Was Arrested Today - February 13th 2010, 09:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by J.u.s.t.i.n.e. View Post
Today I did go and talk to somebody I trusted. I also found out that they let the guy out with conditions until court and he will probably only get 3 years, because he said it was "consentual"! When my mom told me that that's what he said I started hystericly screaming and crying because the police are starting to doubt me more because of my memory gaps.
Thats really heartbreaking. I hope you can get some kind of restraining order on him so that should he ever approach you (which I hope never happens again) you call the police and he immediately would of broken the law.

I know its hard to cope with, but the law system isn't very good at protecting the innocent. In your case you should see a councellor (not a psychologist) and explain to them how you feel, document everything so the judges and police cannot deny your pain.
   
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Re: He Was Arrested Today - February 13th 2010, 01:53 PM

Hi Justine

I am sorry you have to go through this. Please don't think there is anything wrong with how you feel. It is normal to feel emtionless about what happends to the guy. As Cas* has said .."Any way you feel is perfectly okay, because that's how you react to the situation. We all react differently." is so true.

It's terrible that he is out on bail and claiming "consentual" and the police may be questioning your side. I aggree with Alkaline Tears "...law system isn't very good at protecting the innocent..." (In my case one of the attackers lived in my building)

Please continue seeing a councilor to help you through this ( and us of course!!) . It is important to have this documented as Alkaline Tears has said. If it helps...I also had memory gaps too, my counsilor sent me for a psych eval and it was found the gaps were caused by post traumatic stress.

Just don't give up or second guess yourself.




"Think of your life as a book, move forward, close one chapter and open another." Unknown

We give each other strength to make it through the darkness." Silverstein

‎"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." John W. Gardner

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot

Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving." J.K. Rowling
   
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