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samb3 Offline
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My friend is being abused... - February 20th 2010, 11:38 AM

Okay, my bestfriend was pulled by a lawn mower and punched in the nose by his step-father a couple of months ago, actually around 5 months ago, it is only now that his father (Who is also a TAD abusive) found out.
His Father has decided to make my bestfriend live with him and will be taking it to court and putting my bestfriends step-dad and mum into jail. My bestfriends Dad is using this to get back at his mum and his step-dad as his step-dad was previously his dads bestfriend until his mum began an affair with him.
My bestfriend is now living quiet far away from me, he is alot un-happier, his dad does drugs, extensively drinks and does abuse the kids (when he sees them) and now... he wants them all to live with him. Infact hes trying to get FULL custody of all 3 kids and charge his mum and step dad with abusive and what-not.
I really dont want this to happen and I dont know what to do. My bestfriend doesnt want this deep-down but he is so wrapped up in his step-father getting punished (jail) that he wont do anything to stop this.
What can I do? If this is taken to court will he get put back with his mother? Can his Dad go to jail if somehow is drug use and abuse comes out? If my bestfriend lives with his dad will he ever get to see his mum again? Is it likely his mum and step-father will go to jail? I REALLY NEED SOME ANSWERS.

any responces small or large are MORE THAN WELCOME.
thank-you for reading this I am a very concerned best-friend.
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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 21st 2010, 01:04 AM

Hey, there! Welcome to TH.

You sound like a very caring friend. Obviously, neither your friend's stepfather or biological father are capable of caring for him. has he told anyone about his dad's drinking and drug use, or his stepfather's abuse? If he hasn't, he needs to. In the event that everything gets dragged out in court (which it probably will), the court might rule that he doesn't stay with either of them. There is also the issue of your friend being pressured into testifying against his mom or his dad by the other parent. In my opinion, he shouldn't live with either of them because they don't sound stable. I hope this helps! PM/VM me if you still wanna talk.
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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 21st 2010, 03:06 AM

I'm sorry to hear he's going through this. I think you need to get the Police and Child Services involved in this, tell them what they are like so neither of them will get custody of him. They will probably put him in a Foster Home but if he did go to a Foster Home, then he wouldn't be abused, he wouldn't be this unhappy anymore.
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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 21st 2010, 09:07 AM

thanks for your help. i was wondering, what happens in the event his step-father goes to jail and his mum is still seen a fit parent? can he live with her?
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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 21st 2010, 01:49 PM


You're an amazing friend for caring so much about him; he's lucky to have you by his side. He's going through a rough time right now, and the best way to help is to continue supporting him. Let him know you're there if he needs to talk, remind him you care, etc. Make sure he knows he's not alone.

Is there a social worker or guardian ad litem assigned to your friend's case? Your friend needs to be completely honest with whoever is on the case. That includes not only telling about the abuse from his step-father, but what living with his father is like, and what would happen if his father were to obtain full custody. The main priority of everyone involved is to make sure your friend and his siblings are in a safe and healthy environment, so the more that comes out, the better. Holding something back, no matter how inconsequential it may seem, could make a huge difference down the road.

If his stepfather goes to jail but his mum is seen fit, he may end up with his mum, he may not. Anything could happen really, it depends what evidence is brought to court and how the judge decides to rule. If neither parent is seen fit your friend may end up with another family member, or possibly in foster care until he's able to live with a parent again.

I really hope things work out for your friend. Take good care of yourself. x

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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 21st 2010, 08:24 PM

I agree with both Shiane and Sarah. :]
By the way, you're a great friend. Kudos!

I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
And maybe we’ll never know most of them.
But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from,
we can still choose where we go from there.
We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

Colyn Riley ♥
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Re: My friend is being abused... - February 23rd 2010, 11:21 PM

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abused, friend

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