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How do I deal with it and move on? - March 1st 2010, 10:38 PM

When I was a kid I was raped twice. The first time by one of my brother friends and the second time for 6 years by my dad. I had to start taking sleeping pills 3 years ago because I would have dreams about it and Id be up most of the night afraid to sleep. I just started talking about it a year ago. Ive been trying to deal with it and move on with my life, but everytime I get to where I think I have moved on my mom brings it up again. She keeps saying I need to get over it and move on. Ive been to many consoulors and all they did was give me anti depressants that dont help at all. My bf does know about it and after I told him he said he would do anything he could to help me through it. Ever since it happened Ive hated myself and blamed myself for letting it happen. I know it wasnt my fault but I still blame myself. Ive let it run my life for way to long so how can I deal with it and move on.
   
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Re: How do I deal with it and move on? - March 1st 2010, 11:21 PM

Tell your mom you don't want her to talk about it. Just tell her it makes you uncomfortable, and you don't want to discuss it.
What really helped me move on was just thinking about it a lot, but it sounds like that would just make things worse for you...
Do you have friends you can talk to about it? Your boyfriend, maybe?
   
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Re: How do I deal with it and move on? - March 2nd 2010, 01:49 AM

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Originally Posted by LoveFever View Post
Tell your mom you don't want her to talk about it. Just tell her it makes you uncomfortable, and you don't want to discuss it.
What really helped me move on was just thinking about it a lot, but it sounds like that would just make things worse for you...
Do you have friends you can talk to about it? Your boyfriend, maybe?
Most of my friends dont understand it. They think I need to get over it and stop dwelling on the past. Im really close to my grandma, but I dont get to talk to her very much. If I can spend the summer at her house I might be able to move on.
   
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Re: How do I deal with it and move on? - March 3rd 2010, 11:28 PM

I had this same issue after I was raped and found that talking to someone who had been through it made all the difference in the world.
I'm around if you wanna talk, but perhaps there's also a rape support group in your area?
   
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Re: How do I deal with it and move on? - March 7th 2010, 10:19 PM

yeah, i agree with the other two posters. I think the only way you can really move on is to go through it. For so long I pushed it away, pretended it was all okay but it just came back worse than ever. Don't try to force yourself to a place your not at yet. The counsellors haven't done the right thing by you, they're job isn't to dish out meds, but work through these things, if you can, have another go at counselling. But one that focuses on talking and not just meds.
But I so understand how fustrating it must be having you mum keep bringing it up. Try to tell her that, in a clam maner, that you don't want to talk about it and how it makes you feel.
All of this will happen when you're ready, and not when you make yourself ready. Everyones healing time is different, but you can heal.
Hang in there.
   
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