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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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KaayootieKatai Offline
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Exclamation HELP - March 16th 2010, 01:56 AM

Okay sooooo i really need some legal advice.

One of my best friends from 4th grade was raped by her boyfriend of 3 years, which has been a bad relationship. Now I know this sounds bad, but I'm on the boyfriends side.

So she was texting this other guy saying how she wanted to have sex with him and all kinds of stuff and her boyfriend found out and told her if she didn't have sex with him, he would kill himself. They were at her house at the time, with her parents home, so she had the choice to run to her parents. I know it was awful for what he did and he regrets ever doing it, he just let his anger of it get in the way.
But now he doesn't want want to be with her because she was a bitch to him and so on. But now she's using the whole rape thing to her advantage to tell people to pitter her, but she's stocking him to get back with her and whenever he talks to someone else, she tells them how he raped to to get them to hate him.

Now her dad found out, idk how, but now there's gonna be some ideal. She's 16 and he's 17, turning 18 in May. What is the California rape abuse laws for minors?
I know it's still rape, but she still could have stopped this and ran to her parents room or yelled for help.
   
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Re: HELP - March 18th 2010, 06:47 PM

Hey There.

At the end of the day... Rape is Rape.

I agree that the girl should not use the 'rape' to get others to pitty her, BUT, why shouldn't people be told of what the guy did - who's to say that he won't do it to them? I know you said that he regrets what he did to the girl, and it's not something he would normally do - but he DID do it, and who's to say it wont happen again??

Try and put yourself in the other girls shoes. Would you be scared to run to your parents shouting ''My boyfriends threatening to hagve sex with me!'' - or would you think ''It'll be ok - he loves me - we can talk this through..''??

Just think about it.

True, she could have stopped it.... But the point is she didn't, and that isn't her fault - it isn't her fault she got raped. Would you say that every girl that gets raped could have helped themselves?? You could say, that it was their own fault they looked 'tarty', or their own fault they wern't physically strong enough to push the man off.

I'm sure about the legal side to things, Google may be able to help you out. But as you said, rape is rape.

I apologise for sounding too harsh, and you can wipe off this as my personal opinion if you wish - but try and think about things from the girls perspective, I'm sure didn't want to get raped.


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Destination still unkown
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AnaMZ Offline
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Re: HELP - March 20th 2010, 10:02 AM

I agree with QuarterJackWoop here. At the end of the day, what the guy did was blackmail a girl into having sex with him when she clearly didn't want to. The rest of the situation is irrelevant - why, you may ask?

If a prostitute is assaulted and raped in an alley, it is still rape, regardless of the fact that she sleeps with people for a living. She didn't want to have sex.

If a girl loves her boyfriend dearly and he forces her to have sex when she's not ready, it's still rape, regardless of the fact that they may have an otherwise fine relationship. She didn't want to have sex.

So you can see what I'm getting at here. She could be the sluttiest ('scuse my French) girl in the entire world - just because you want sex a lot of the time, doesn't mean you forfeit your right to say no every so often. Being in a relationship with your rapist, or their psychological state, are not excuses for non-consensual sex. Ever.


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