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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Imaginary Offline
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My dad (abuser) contacted me. - April 18th 2010, 02:57 PM

My dad showed me a porn movie when I was eight years old. I don't remember much about the experience. I can remember a lot of the movie, I even learned the name of it a few years later, but I don't remember what he was doing beside me at the time. I dissassociate all the time, and I don't remember much about my childhood, I'm scared of men touching me or being behind me, I've always had a shocking knowlege of sex, and since I was little I've been deathly afraid of being raped (especially anally). My dad also has a rape mentality, and I always pretend to be stupid around him so I don't get him mad. So there is that.

But my dad emailed me and sent me a package for my birthday. I haven't touched either, I'm scared. The box sort of smells like him and it scares me.

I told my mother what I remember twice, but she repressed that I said it (both times), and she still let him contact me (he doesn't have our address or phone number, but he knows my extended family's address).

I really don't want to talk to him or touch the package. The last one he gave me I gave to a womin's shelter because I couldn't sleep with it in my room. But I sort of feel bad not responding. I know I don't owe him shit, but he... I don't know what. I don't have any affection for him, I just think that if I don't respond something bad will happen to me. It's not a sense of actually knowing, I'm just speaking out of fear.

If it were any other girl than me, I'd implore her not to indulge the bastard, that she was better than that, she didn't deserve to torture herself, but I just feel so small.

I know this is more of a rant than anything, but I just want to tell someone to strengthen my resolve. I'm not going to contact him.

Should I just block his emails and tell my mom to not let him send me things?


myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .
   
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Re: My dad (abuser) contacted me. - April 18th 2010, 07:24 PM

Hey there.

You have every right to just throw the package in the trash if that's what you want. If you don't want to have contact with him, then you most definitely don't have to. This is your life and you don't have to let him back in. For now, you can block him, refuse his mail, tell your mom to have him stop contacting you, etc. Maybe someday you'll change your mind, by for now no contact sounds like a good thing for you.

I hope you're doing okay. PM me anytime.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: My dad (abuser) contacted me. - April 19th 2010, 03:11 AM

Did your father ever actually touch you? You made it sound like all he did was show you porn (which while unacceptable doesn't seem like too bad since i saw a lot of porn when I was little).

Regardless, it's up to you what you want to do with what he sends you. Set it on fire, stomp on it, or donate it, whatever you want. If you don't want him in your life, maybe contact him and tell him this and hope it stops
   
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Re: My dad (abuser) contacted me. - April 19th 2010, 06:22 AM

It doesn't matter if he touched me (though I'm guessing he did. I said I didn't remember, remember?). The point is that he is an abusive fuckwad and I am not going to contact him. I hate him. He's really fucked me up and I want to kick his dick off.


myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .
   
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Re: My dad (abuser) contacted me. - April 19th 2010, 07:12 AM

wellsounds like u have made your dicission there and tbh i think for now its the right 1 until u are mentallyready to face his demond of urs it would hurt u more
   
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