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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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blaming my sluttiness on abuse? - April 18th 2010, 09:11 PM

i wanna know if this is because of my abuse or if im just completely stupid.

ever since i was raped for the second time.
ive become a big slut. i feel like i cant say no to people. so i have sex with anyone, and i never enjoy it. and afterwards it just makes the flashbacks alot worse.

i feel like a total slut, but i just cant stop doing it, yet in the apst when ive been in a relationship with truly great guys. i push them away, i end up hating them and i dont know why.

so in other words im a slut who ends up hurting people who are nice to her.
do you think its related, or am i just looking for something to blame


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Re: blaming my sluttiness on abuse? - April 18th 2010, 09:24 PM

I think it might be related. I've gone through similar. You've learnt that sex means nothing. And you've learnt that it's impossible to say no to guys. So you carry on with that, being with anyone that asks. But you cant enjoy it because your doing it almost because you have to.

You've just got to be strong. Say no. If you do it once, you'll realise it's ok to. And maybe, you'll start to see sex in a more positive light. I still struggle to, but with my boyfriend, i realised it's ok to say no, that love and sex are seperate. Try trusting.

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Re: blaming my sluttiness on abuse? - April 20th 2010, 02:11 AM

Hey there,

I think it could be related. I know some people who are abused turn to sex for a lot of different reasons. I don't know if you know your reasons for turning to sex but if you could figure it out it really might help.

Saying no can definitely be a hard thing to do but you must realize that it is your body and you have every right to say no. It is hard but in the end it is worth it. And with time the more you say no you will probably feel stronger for it.

One thing I would suggest is going to a counselor or getting involved in some type of support group. I know that talking about all the abuse that you suffered through is going to be hard but in the end it feels so good. It gives a person a sense of relief.

If you need anything feel free to pm me. Stay strong.

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Re: blaming my sluttiness on abuse? - April 21st 2010, 02:34 AM

There's a good chance it is related. Some girls withdraw from sex and relationships all together, and others just throw themselves into it. It doesn't make you a slut, it's just that you've learned that sex has no value, no meaning. Maybe even that it's suppose to hurt, and maybe you might believe that if you just sleep with everyone, no one will hurt you again. But in truth, you are only hurting yourself.

Saying no is extremely hard, very difficult to do, but you can do it. Take control of your body. Only sleep with someone if you really want to, if you actually care for them. Otherwise, start saying no. Most men will respect your wishes, and those who don't are not worth your time anyway.


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Re: blaming my sluttiness on abuse? - April 21st 2010, 05:47 PM

I was raped when i was younger, and for years i withdrew from boys completely, but just one day i was like nah, i will do this and just ended up sleeping with a load of people, i still do it these days.

You obviously are feeling guilty about what you're doing, so maybe learning to say no might make you feel some more self confidence.

Also i think maybe you should see a counselor to talk through the abuse, and it could even help the problems you're having at the moment.

Pm me if you need any help x


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