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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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adelina.rose Offline
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still partly a child - April 20th 2010, 10:27 AM

i was molested and physically abused as a toddler and child and so i feel like i kinda lost my childhood. now i work with kids, im great with the kids and i love it. but i act like a kid alot. and like a baby. not on purpose. i dont know how to explain it. its like, part of me is my age and grown up. but part of me will act and talk like a kid. mum gets so angry about it and makes fun of me and gets shitty at me. is this normal? please help. what am i supposed to do? i cannot stop it.
   
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Re: still partly a child - April 20th 2010, 11:33 AM

Hey, Adelina Rose.

I am sorry that you have had to experience that. I understand that it must have been a hugely traumatic experience for you.

Maybe you're just making up for your childhood. It is alright to let loose and just be yourself when you're around children. They're so innocent, it's easy to let loose with them. You mention that you act like a kid a lot. I think we all do it at some point but that all depends on just how much of a kid you're being, I guess. In any case, most people tend to act like children themselves when they're around kids. You can hardly communicate with a child the way you would an adult.

Have you asked your mother why she has a problem with it? I haven't seen or heard you for myself, so I really can't say much on this but I'd just like to point out that there is nothing wrong with goofing off and being a little immature every so often. It's fun and.. well, fun.

If this upsets you though, or you feel that your behaviour is abnormal, you could consider consulting a therapist. I'm no trained professional, so it is not my place to diagnose you, but if you're finding the way you act and speak unusual, there is no harm in asking someone about it.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or if you just need someone to talk to. I'm always here x


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Re: still partly a child - April 20th 2010, 12:52 PM

hey there, ive had that experience too and i still act alot like a child. if someone raises their voice i will cry and stuff like that but you do grow out of it and yeah its probably cause your making up for lost childhood, we grow up so fast...


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Re: still partly a child - April 20th 2010, 05:28 PM

I do that too. I was sexually abused around age 9 and from age 11-17 I had a great deal of responsibility as I had to look after my disabled younger brother and my mum whilse she was ill (polycystic kidney disease). As a result of this I missed out on doing a lot of things that typical teenagers did. I never really came to terms with the abuse that I suffered, although I am worknig on that now, so I feel as though part of me is still trapped in the childish role.
Because of all this, I have a tendancy to act childishly and impulsively. Hopefully, in time we will "grow out of it", though I think it is important to deal with the abuse as the childishness probably stems from it. If you're acting like a child sometimes because you feel as though you missed out on part of your childhood, maybe you could do things that you would've liked to do as a child and weren't able to do (like go to disnleyland or play at the park with your friends etc). Not sure if this will work or not, but it might.
hope this helps
   
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Re: still partly a child - April 20th 2010, 05:46 PM

Yes, I would say that it is normal. Suffering from any kind or abuse or tragedy as a child can make a person regress or not have the mentality of someone their age. So I wouldn't worry about it not being normal. Talking to someone about things could help you.

Keep your head up
   
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Re: still partly a child - April 21st 2010, 02:24 AM

So, while I can't say it's normal, it's actually really common among people who have experienced any form of abuse. I know I do it, and a lot of my friends do it. Sometimes we revert back to a child like stage without knowing it, and sometimes we want to feel little again, because little is an escape from our current world (I mean like colouring and curling up with a teddy).

I know I used to act a lot like a child. When I was, eighteen or nineteen, I would throw some of the worst tantrums at work, but that was mainly due to the situations happening at that time. When I started to accepted what happened and started talking about it, I stopped being so child-like when I got upset. It's perfectly okay to act like a child sometimes, but there are times when it is not. Talking to someone, a friend or even a counselor, can help you learn to cope with the abuse, and can help you move past the child like state of mind.

Take care.


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Re: still partly a child - April 23rd 2010, 03:22 PM

hey hun, i can really relate to that! i've been sexually abused for 2 yrs from when i was 5... and i realise that i do act alot as a little kid.. talking with my soft toys with the babyish kinda voice that always prompts my mom to complain that i never grow up and that i'm abnormal..
haha so all i can say is that i understand lolll o.0 though i'm not sure if that's coz of the abuse..
perhaps that's it, making up for lost childhood haha (:



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Re: still partly a child - April 24th 2010, 01:15 AM

I'm the same way.. PM me if you'd like.. I'd love to talk.
   
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