Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
stevie141 Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
stevie141's Avatar
Name: Steve
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Location: U.K.

Posts: 26
Join Date: January 28th 2010

Unhappy still can't handle it - April 23rd 2010, 10:00 PM

ok so here goes, well i was sexually, phsically and mentally abuse when i was 6 untill i was 11 by a close family member. i can't really talk about it to anyone at all and now i have to go see a mental health nurse and im expected to just tell her everything. ive tried to talk bout it with my partner and he helps as much as he can with my problems but i cant handle it at all. i got the furthest i ever have about talking bout it yesterday but now i cant stop thinking about it, and it's just making me soo angry and upset i just need to hurt myself to distract my thougts for thoses few seconds and i just dont know how to make themm go away./ how am i supose t talk to peole bout this when just a lil send me into this state
  Send a message via MSN to stevie141  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount31's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: still can't handle it - April 23rd 2010, 11:16 PM

Hey Steve, it sounds like you've been through a lot. Talking to a stranger about your problems can be a great relief but also quite threatening. You're opening up about a very traumatic period of your life and many old, raw feelings are going to resurface. Nobody likes to feel emotionally vulnerable. While it would be much easier for us to push our problems to the back of our minds and try our best to forget about them, this is not always the best solution for us. Sometimes we need to talk about our experiences so that we will be able to let go of all that emotional baggage and make the best out of our lives.

If you truly are having trouble voicing your feelings, then don't. Write them down in a letter and show it to your nurse. This is what I did when I wanted to tell my therapist about my self-harm. I found it worked very well. Certain things are hard to talk about and we may leave out important details because we are feeling uncomfortable. This way, you can explain your situation clearly and your nurse will be able to identify the best way to help you.

Please don't hurt yourself; it will only make you feel worse in the long-run. When you are feeling upset, please remember that there are many different alternatives to self-harming. (Read this thread.)

I hope this helped you a little bit. Take care.

Last edited by DeletedAccount31; April 23rd 2010 at 11:22 PM.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Emily. Offline
taste the sky
Experienced TeenHelper
Emily.'s Avatar
Name: Emily
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: middle of nowhere

Posts: 689
Join Date: February 3rd 2009

Re: still can't handle it - April 24th 2010, 05:47 AM

Hey there Steve. I'm sorry you have had to go through so much hurt in your life. No one deserves that and I hope you know it wasn't your fault.

I'm really proud of you for being willing to give it a try with a mental health nurse. You should be proud of yourself too. It's a really good step in the recovery process just to get yourself to go to therapy.

And I know it can be really hard opening up to people, but in the end I do think it will help. I believe that we have to talk about and work through everything that's happened before we can put our past hurts to rest and be at peace with them.

It's a hard a long process, but it sounds like your partner is being supportive? Don't be afraid to lean on him and the other people in your life. And bringing up and talking about the memories is bound to make anyone feel horrible and awful, but try and find some alternatives to help you work through them? The link in the above post is a good one. I guess I find that going for walks or taking cold showers really helps me when I feel like hurting myself.

You can get through this, Steve. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me. Be good to yourself.
<3 Emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Online
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,678
Blog Entries: 1760
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: still can't handle it - April 24th 2010, 06:59 AM

Hey there,

First off I want to say that nothing that happened to you was your fault. You did not deserve any of that. And you should not feeling guilty or any such thing. The person who is at fault is your abuser.

Now, I know how hard it can be to talk about the abuse. I always knew something happened to me. I knew that I had been molested but my memories of it were not there. I started getting the memories one day but instead of talking about it I kept it inside. I fell back into my ed and sh and then one day I decided to talk about it and I just felt so free.

When we start to talk about the abuse we start to let go of our shame and we place it back on our abuser. Yes, it is hard as hell but it is worth it. If you don't feel that you can talk about it maybe you could write it down for the mental health nurse to read. Just say something like ' I was abused by a close family family member and I have difficulty talking about it.' Once the nurse knows this she will be able to slowly help you work on talking about it. No one will push you to talk about it and if they do they are not the right counselor or doctor for you.

I know what you are dealing with is hard but you can overcome it. You survived the hardest part of it all, the abuse, that is never going to happen again. You are such a strong person for having gone through that and making it out alive. Don't ever forget that.

Now take the next step in healing and open up. With time it will get easier. Some days will be amazing. You will feel like you are free and no one can ever hurt you again. You will feel like your abuser has lost all control over your life. Other days will be fucking horrible but the more you talk about it and the more you survive those terrible days the more you will heal.

Please hang in there and if you need anything do not hesitate to pm me. I am here for you whenever.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
stevie141 Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
stevie141's Avatar
Name: Steve
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Location: U.K.

Posts: 26
Join Date: January 28th 2010

Re: still can't handle it - April 24th 2010, 08:38 PM

Thanks guys for the help and ideas, meant alot to me tht someone actully replyed. I will have a go at writting the things down, as much as i can anyway, but if i can't managed that Rob says he will come in with me through out the whole thing and if i can't he will tell her the basics for me. And i know it can be difficult, i wasn't expecting anything else, but i never knew it would feel so bad. it's like he's got controle over me all over again now and i can't stand it. I wake up thinking about it, i spend all day trying to get it out of my head and i can't get to sleep without thinking of all thoses things they put me through... i just hope this will help me out and help me move on with my life, thanks again guys xxx
  Send a message via MSN to stevie141  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
occcoolboy Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
occcoolboy's Avatar

Posts: 44
Join Date: December 21st 2009

Re: still can't handle it - April 28th 2010, 04:21 PM

well heres the thing, some topics should be kept secret but this topic shouldn't. try to let it all out. which i mean tell the nurse about everything that happened to you.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
x_sepi_x Offline
Senior TeenHelper
x_sepi_x's Avatar
Name: Sabah
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 827
Blog Entries: 145
Join Date: May 1st 2010

Re: still can't handle it - May 2nd 2010, 01:51 AM

hey stevie
erm wat u wrote in ur post is similar to what im goin thru at da moment.. i was sexually abused from ages of 8 till 12, ive neva been confident in talkin to people so i find it hard to talk about.. i began seein a councellor a while ago because i self-harm, and i only managed to tell her about my abuse a few weeks ago.. now its all i can think about and all i do is continuously cut myself to try and make all the hurt go away but it won't and i'm scared.. i dnt know how to cope, nobody else knows but im hopin dat talkin to my councellor again will help me...
hope ur okay and copin well
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.