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Do I Have ANYTHING to be upset about? - April 26th 2010, 06:58 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know if this goes here, but it didn't fit anywhere else. Feel free to move it.

A week ago now, i was at a friends house with a couple of other mates and we were drinkin havin a good time. Then me (reluctantly) and my boyfriend of 1 month, went into the room and were just laying on the bed. Then he started kissing me, i tried to pull away but he pulled me back, closer and on top of him. Then he started dry humping. I didn't want it but at the same time i was so scared to pull away again because he's my first boyfriend and doesn't that mean it's my duty to fulfill his wants? (btw, i am a virgin)

So the whole time it happened, i was numb, and when he finally stopped i pretnded nothing was wrong and said i needed to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and just started crying.

I felt so wrong. I feel like i am/was being used by some horny teenage boy.

So ever since then i have felt VERY ddepressed. I am crying all the time, I can't concentrate or sleep, and I constantly think of killing myself.

So that's that, and my question is, do i REALLY have anything to be upset about? or am i just being a pussy? O_o

It might help explain why i am so upset (incase i AM just being a whiney pussy) to shaare that i already have depression for three years and an eating disorder for 4, and that i hae no friends and thats maybe why i was so scared of being rejected but i don't know.
Someone told me that he thinks all my issues may sstem from a traumatic car crash i was in when i was younger but i dont think so but maybe. O_o

Last edited by .:nat:.; April 26th 2010 at 07:31 AM.
   
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Re: Do I Have ANYTHING to be upset about? - April 26th 2010, 07:27 AM

Just because he is your boyfriend does not mean you have to do anything to fulfill any of his needs, or any of that. If you pulled away, he should have stopped. Next time tell him you are not read for that yet, that you want to take it slower. Talk to him, if he cares about you at all, he will wait.

It's okay to be upset, and I know this is a big deal to you, but please think rationally about this.Killing yourself won't fix things. It really want. Is there another reason you might be feeling like this, besides that one incident? You should think seriously about talking to someone, a teacher or your school counselor. Let someone know what's going on. Also, I want to give you the link to the hotlines thread, so that if you are feeling low or upset, you can call them instead of harming yourself.

Take good care of yourself, and if you need anything, feel free to pm me.


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Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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Re: Do I Have ANYTHING to be upset about? - April 26th 2010, 07:40 AM

lol i think i editted it as you replied O_o. Feeling like killing myself is nothing new to me. And I do talk to people already and now, I am at wits end.Because there is nothing else I can do. I am absolutely clueless of how to get help. I talk to a teacher, and i have a counsellor/psychologist sigh. But STILL, I feel like this.

I don't know.
   
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