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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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JenniferxMarie Offline
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Unhappy Abuse leading to more? - April 29th 2010, 01:53 AM

When I was younger I was "abused" by my older brother he would watch porn in front of me, and make me watch. He would mastubate infront of me also and one time when I was really little he played with my breats and nipples and one time took naked pictures of me on a disposable camera (none if it ever turned out...or so they said). He made me read and look at his dirty magazines and once made me put a condom on him. This was between 7-12, after I told when I was older they never really believed me and only made him move out. Fast toward to 14, I start dating an almost 19 year old guy who I share a relationship with till recently...within the first two weeks of dating we were having sex, all the time everywhere and anywhere. Now I am 16 not wanting to remember much sometimes I drink or do drugs, now it's sex. I moved onto a 22 year old who wanted sex and left me a few weeks later. Now I have 4-5 guys wanting me sending me pictures, and me sending them ones....age ranging from 17-28.... Then today I realized what the trauma did to me when 3 guys caught me giving a kid head before school at the baseball field...I am numb they told the whole school and the taunts hurt, but it's me acting out from all this pain. They will never understand...


Jennifer Marie
"learn how to apologize, learn how to say
'i love you' to someone other than your cat
and mean it, learn how to express yourself,
learn how to smile a "fuck you"
regardless of the outdated traditions,
the talentless critics or what is fashionable or give up."




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Emily. Offline
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Re: Abuse leading to more? - April 29th 2010, 06:50 AM

Hey Jennifer. It sounds like you have been through a lot of tough things in your life. I'm sorry that your brother hurt you like that. I hope you know it wasn't your fault and that you didn't deserve it.

I think it might really help you to talk to someone like a counselor about everything. The sexual abuse you suffered when you were younger and the bad relationships you've been in can be immensely hard things to overcome, but you don't have to do it alone. A therapist can help you find ways to heal and cope. Better ways that letting yourself be used by guys. Because you definitely deserve better than that Jennifer.

You could also try talking to your parents or a teacher about everything. It's good to have people supporting you and it really does feel better when you talk and get things out with people who will be there for you.

As for the boys who passed on what they saw, there's not a whole lot you can do about it at this point. I know it's awful when things like that get out there, but it will be okay. New gossip will take it's place soon. Unfortunately, that's the way of the hugh school world sometimes. Just keep your chin up, okay? Things will get better. But please, please talk to someone. You really do deserve the help.

I hope you're doing okay right now. I'm here if you ever want to talk.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Abuse leading to more? - April 29th 2010, 08:59 PM

I tell my mom everything....but, she never does anything.
We tried to get me into a mental health place which I could have appointments at every week, but they said I don't fit the critera....
If I go to other councelling we have around here, I can go a total of 20 times,
then it is over.


Jennifer Marie
"learn how to apologize, learn how to say
'i love you' to someone other than your cat
and mean it, learn how to express yourself,
learn how to smile a "fuck you"
regardless of the outdated traditions,
the talentless critics or what is fashionable or give up."




  Send a message via MSN to JenniferxMarie  
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Emily. Offline
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Re: Abuse leading to more? - April 30th 2010, 03:11 AM

I think you should give the counseling a try anyways. Twenty sessions is much better than nothing and it might do you a lot of good. If it's once a week, that's still 4 1/2 months you could spend getting help. You could also look into something more permanent after those sessions are up.


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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