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Worried_fiance Offline
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Exclamation Flashbacks? - May 5th 2010, 02:15 AM

This past weekend I tried to have sex with my fiance, but he could tell something was wrong so he stopped. After he asked what was wrong I told him that I kept having flashbacks from when I was raped when I was a kid. He already knew that I was raped twice when I was a kid and he understands. He says its ok and to take my time dealing with it and that he will be there no matter what, but I still feel bad about it. We're planning on getting married in a couple years and I want to be able to have sex with him without having these flashbacks. How do I get rid of the flashbacks?
   
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Re: Flashbacks? - May 5th 2010, 06:26 AM

I'm sorry that happened to you as a kid, that must have been very hard and I am glad that you have someone who is so understand, you deserve it.
As for the flashbacks, that's a hard one. Maybe, you need to try something with him before you go all the way. So, remember that this is only a suggestion.
My suggestion is that you show him your body and let him touch you, but close your eyes. And everytime something flashes back, you open your eyes and take a good look at your fiancé and tell him what you saw and felt. And then do it again and again, with every part of your body, until all you see is your fiancé's face when you close your eyes. Then do the same thing when you try and have sex. It might take a while, but who knows, maybe it could help? One step at a time until all you feel and see if your fiancé.
   
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Re: Flashbacks? - May 7th 2010, 02:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetcrimefighter View Post
I'm sorry that happened to you as a kid, that must have been very hard and I am glad that you have someone who is so understand, you deserve it.
As for the flashbacks, that's a hard one. Maybe, you need to try something with him before you go all the way. So, remember that this is only a suggestion.
My suggestion is that you show him your body and let him touch you, but close your eyes. And everytime something flashes back, you open your eyes and take a good look at your fiancé and tell him what you saw and felt. And then do it again and again, with every part of your body, until all you see is your fiancé's face when you close your eyes. Then do the same thing when you try and have sex. It might take a while, but who knows, maybe it could help? One step at a time until all you feel and see if your fiancé.
We've tried doing other things but I still have the flashbacks.
   
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sweetcrimefighter
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Re: Flashbacks? - May 7th 2010, 02:41 AM

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Originally Posted by Worried_fiance View Post
We've tried doing other things but I still have the flashbacks.
That's normal, and you'll still probably have them for a while, but the point is to keep trying. Don't give up just yet


*And when the door begins to crack, it's like a stick across your back. And when your back begins to smart, it's like a penknife in your heart. And when your heart begins to bleed, you're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.*
   
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