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MikeH Offline
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Justice Must Be Served! - May 27th 2010, 07:42 PM

My girlfriend of several months had been in a relationship with her youth pastor several years ago. It's really disgusting. She was a 14 year old girl, in need of help, and this 23, 24 year old man, took advantage of her. More or less, they had an on again, off again relationship for the better part of two years.

They would sext each other, he went down on her, felt her up, etc. he promised her the world, was really sweet to her, and treated her right, aside from the fact that all he wanted was sex.

It's wrong, and disgusting. He's a child predator, that would spend hours telling her about his sex dreams about her, etc. etc.

Point is, he is a child predator that needs to be put away. I recently found out he is going to school to be a physical education teacher. That also makes me feel sick.

Now, my girlfriend thinks she's the world's worst person, etc. etc. and I'm trying to convince her to lock him away. I have tons of evidence- Facebook messages from him and his wife, both admitting what happened, in vivd detail.

My question to you is, if she wished to take him to court, just so he'd get put into jail, or just so he is labelled as a sex offender, what would the process be? What are the chances of it actually happening? Like I said, I have proof in the form of Facebook messages, their were several witnesses, etc.

If anyone can give me a timeline, rough or not, of what would happen- ie.

"She calls the Police, they interogate her. They interogate him" etc. etc. that would be swell..

Much appreciated. Please help.

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Re: Justice Must Be Served! - May 27th 2010, 08:31 PM

Ok. Well in my case this is how it went.
  • I am a minor and the predator was my stepdad, so we reported it to protective services. For you I would just go straight to the police though.
  • Then If she is a minor, depending on where you guys live they may take her to what is called carehouse( the neglect and abuse center in your county, it may be called something different). There they will talk with her one on one. Her and one other person will sit in a room, and talk about what happened. Other people that will need to talk to her will sit behind a wall that is a mirrior to her, but a window to the other people, usually the detective or the cop.
  • Then if they decide to take it to court, you will either be given a lawyer or if you have on then your all set.
  • The lawyer will meet with you, and she will once again have to discuss what went on. This is when they will determine what she will say at the hearing. At the same time his lawyer will be meeting with him, to put together their argument.
  • First their will be a preliminary hearing, there may be different sorts of motions before that but usually just the preliminary hearing, which she may have to testify at.
  • If they decide to send it up to the higher court( usually the district court, then you will have another date for the actual trial.)
  • Then comes Trial, this could me one or more days long depending on how many witnesses the prosecuting lawer calls, and the defense attorney calls. She will again probably have to testify at the trial( If so she will be cross examend, Meaning both her attorney and their attorney will ask questions.
  • Then the jury will go into diliberation to determine weather or not to find him guilty or not guilty. This could take some time.
  • If he is found guilty they will schedule a sentencing date.
  • At the sentecing date, he will be told his for say "punishment". He will have the chance, to try to argue his maximumn sentence lenghth, In my case the judge didn't buy it.
  • At the sentencing if she so chooses your gf will be allowed to make a statement to her abuser.
**Just one more thing, this could take anywere from six months to 1.5 years usually. It will all depend on the distance apart of court dates, and if they reschedule them alot, like they did with us, then it is bound to take longer.

*** You sound like a really great boyfriend,it is really sweet that you care about her and her well being !

I hope this really helped. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck!
if you need anything, feel free to P.M.
Take care,
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Re: Justice Must Be Served! - May 28th 2010, 03:47 AM

Trish basically covered it. However, you could look up the laws in your area, and the police department in your area should have a county website, where they have the laws and how they handle such cases. Also, you could talk to your local law enforcement. It's really great you want to help her, just hang in there.

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Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

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Re: Justice Must Be Served! - May 28th 2010, 03:55 AM

Mike I want to begin by saying that you are an extremely inspirational and kind person for what you are doing. It is wrong and disgusting and you are such a good person for wanting to do something about this.

Trish covered most of the information as Cas stated. You have to look into the law and do your research. It may be difficult and challenging for her to go through with talking to police and recalling the events that happened, but it is important to be proactive and ensuring that he doesn't do this to another girl.

Be encouraging to your girlfriend and do your research. Please let us know what you find out and how things go.

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