Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
suicidal_bunny Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
suicidal_bunny's Avatar
Name: Renee
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: A town :D

Posts: 10
Join Date: April 9th 2010

Question Should I forgive him? - May 29th 2010, 02:15 AM

When I was 8 I got raped by my brother who was 10. It was sexual and physical, and once when he broke my arm i told my mom what he was doing to me. He went to juvenile hall and he just got out a few months ago. He's now 17 and I'm 15 now. But he lives in a neighborhood where everyone calls him a molester, and rapist. he wants to move in to my house so he can get away from that.(He lives with our father right now like 10 hours away)

But I don't want him to stay here, because I just am afraid of him. (Its kind of hard to explain) He was been flirting with my friends online, and one of them asked why i didn't want him here, so i told her everything, and she told me to give him another chance because he got her to feel guilty for him, and they are still talking and flirting, and she has been acting like what he did to me never happened, because she said she "loves" him.(They have been talking for 2 weeks)
So should i forgive him? should i let him stay here because my friend wants him here?Thank you

My light of day has come to an end
The knife is my lover, the pain is my friend
Its hard to do anything, i can't even cry
I lived enough of this life....and now i must die
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Megan1 Offline
Senior TeenHelper
Megan1's Avatar
Name: Megan
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 928
Join Date: February 6th 2010

Re: Should I forgive him? - May 29th 2010, 02:23 AM

Yes and no. This is a very personal choice for you, but- I would forgive him, because it's not good (for your own well being) to hold onto anger. BUT, I personally wouldn't let him live there if you have the choice. I understand that he was only ten when it happened....But from what you said about him, it doesn't sound like he has matured all that much. There is a good chance that he could hurt you or someone else again.....And whether he does or not, you shouldn't have to live in that fear and awkwardness. If your friend is a good friend, she should understand that. Abuse is a very serious thing, you have every right in the world to not want him to live there. Forgiving doesn't always mean that you have to forget.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Megan09 Offline
Singer, lover, writer
Average Joe
Megan09's Avatar
Name: Megan
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 134
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: Should I forgive him? - May 29th 2010, 02:28 AM

I agree that you should forgive him. Or at least try. As much as you can. What he did was completely wrong, but you should still try to forgive him for the mistake he made at such a young age. Finding forgiveness will make you feel better.

That being said, I would NOT let him move back in with you. He says he doesnt like being in the city he's in now because of what people call him... but that's his own fault. You have already gone through so much because of what he did to you, and I don't think you should risk the chance of being hurt all over again. He has to a chance to change now that he's out, but let him do it at your father's house so he cannot hurt you.

"If music be the food of love, play on." -Shakespeare
Remember: May is skin cancer awareness month. Be smart, here are some tips to protect yourself:
Feel free to PM me, I'm here to help
TH Social Networking Team
  Send a message via AIM to Megan09  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Megan1 Offline
Senior TeenHelper
Megan1's Avatar
Name: Megan
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 928
Join Date: February 6th 2010

Re: Should I forgive him? - May 29th 2010, 02:40 AM

^Very much agreed. And the thing is, people are going to call him things no matter where he goes. Him moving in with you probably wouldn't solve that anyways.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Lexy9e Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Lexy9e's Avatar
Name: Alexis Zoe<3
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Chicago

Posts: 34
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Should I forgive him? - May 29th 2010, 04:29 AM

Okay, I'm assuming that you live with your mother. If so I would talk to her about your situation. Forgiveness is the key to getting over something as traumatic as having this sexual abuse done by your brother. Should you have him come back? That depends solely on you. You have to be comfortable with him coming back. If you feel like your well being will be jeopardized or still have a feeling something like this may happen again then you shouldn't put yourself at risk. Sometimes you have to think of your own happiness or well being. Your brother could have changed, who knows. What makes me think he may not have is the flirting with your friends. He could be doing this in an attempt to make you look like the bad guy so you feel forced to allow him back into your life and home. Do what you feel is right though. Don't let your heart waver. Maybe you could even try to talk to him one on one and see how things go from there. Good luck and I will be here for you whenever you need!

  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
Dance with me
I can't get enough
Casey.'s Avatar
Name: Casey
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in my mind

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 337
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Should I forgive him? - May 30th 2010, 01:55 AM

Hey Renee,

Well, I would forgive him, as forgiving does more for you than it does for him, it helps you let get of some of the anger and hurt, and it helps in the healing process. However, as for letting him back in your house, that is up to you. Talking it over with your mom would be best, but if you are not ready to have him back, if you think things will be as they were before, then stand up for yourself. Ignore what your friend says. She doesn't have to live with him, you do.

Just hang in there Renee.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

PM me

  Send a message via Yahoo to Casey.  
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.