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bunnyhappy13 Offline
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Nightmares - June 21st 2010, 06:00 AM

Ok so...I feel like I have really bad luck.

From age 4 I started going over to my grandpa's house so he could babysit while my dad was sleeping [I was the noisy ADHD child, my sister just watched TV] and mom was at work. Starting at age 4, I was molested. He called it our "cuddle time" and would touch me under the covers while I sat in his lap in his chair. When I would get out of the shower he'd be waiting to dry me off and put lotion on me and dress me and...well I blocked it all out because part of me knew it was wrong but he told me it was our secret. When I was 12 he died and a few years after that, it was like my floodgates opened and I started reliving it all in my nightmares.

The nightmares just irritate me and stress me out and I just don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I'm cursed - first that, then I was raped when I was in 8th grade, again my freshman year, and then recently. =/
   
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Re: Nightmares - June 21st 2010, 02:38 PM

Just hold in there. I know what you are going through, and I am in the same boat as you as my floodgates just opened a few weeks ago. Except for me it was my father, instead, and my flashbacks are vivid that it feels like I am there. But, it is a part of the process of healing but it is a lot of work. I am sorry about what happened recently. But it is not okay for anybody to hurt another human like that. Have you told anybody about the recent incident.
Also a part of healing is talking this out with a professional that can help you through your healing. Also grounding is a good way to help you get through each flashback by getting you mind to the here and now instead of the past.

Things will get better. If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.


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-Abby
   
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Re: Nightmares - June 21st 2010, 07:36 PM

Im so sorry this has happend to you. I was raped when I was 14 and have had awful nighmares starting when I was 16 (when I finally talked about it). Its an awful thing to go through, I hope you arent going through it alone. I found it helpful to talk to a psychologist about my dreams and figure out why I was dreaming of them so often.
If you are going through this alone, you always have people here that will try to help you by talking to you. Dont hesitate to message me.
   
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Re: Nightmares - June 23rd 2010, 05:21 AM

I am going through it alone, I can't afford a psycologist. =/
   
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