Triggering: My friend...

[Guardian_Angel]

I am writing this for my friend... And I guess for myself.

She got severely assaulted several times at the start of this year by a group of guys in her area. I asked her to look at this forum and asked if I could post a thread on here for her (Its hard for her to talk about her feelings I think)

They did horrific things to her, and it wasn't just sexual but physical as well, however she sometimes tries to talk down what happened to her. We have gone in great detail about what happened but there is other issues in her life and we don't talk about it a lot.

What happened has changed her, but I don't know what is permanent and what isn't... She gets into moods when she is stressed where she is extremely angry, and suicidal at the same time and I don't know what to do to help her...

I have helped a lot of people but I am very close to her so its hard to see clearly. I think sometimes she has all this anger and emotion and can't let it out but she really just wants to be comforted and is weaker than ever.

She is blacking out and seeing things aswell... and she think that she was having hallucinations during some of it, and that in some ways makes it less bad but I don't agree...

I don't know her full feelings as she rarely talks about it... I think she hates herself so much...

I just want to help her and fix it and make it better but I don't know what to do...

[Loving Linux Penguin]

It'll be okay. I know, to a certain extent, how you feel. Sometimes my best friend goes through stuff and I am practically powerless to help him because he won't talk about it. My only suggestion that I can think of would be to try to talk with her about it and see if you can get her professional help. Once she lets it all out and gets help she'll feel better

[Emily.]

Hey there Peter.

It sounds like you are a really good friend wanting to help her out. Just being there for her and letting her know you will listen means a lot. It's okay if you don't always know what to say or do, just be there.

I think the best thing you can do for her is try and talk her into seeing a therapist. Overcoming an assault is an extremely hard thing to do and a lot of times we need a professional, who's trained for this, to help us heal. She deserves that.

If she is blacking out and hallucinating, it's definitely a good idea to have her see a doctor. You may be describing a severe flashback, but it could also be an underlying medical problem. Getting things checked out is the safest way to go.

I'm not sure how old your friend is or what her support system is like, but in some cases it's best to involve a person's family if you're worried about them. This is something that you will just have to use your best judgement on, though.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
<3 Emily