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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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theemodancer Offline
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Unhappy dont know if this fits in this section - June 25th 2010, 03:20 AM

Ok so Ive been with my bf for 5 months bu i have known him for 5 year. I seriously love him so much and id do anything for him, including dealing with his horrible mood swings.

my bf has a horrible temper, no he doesnt physically abuse me just to get that out there before you jump to that conclusion. He does however guilt trip me all time and im not exaggeratin i mean multiple times a day, he pressures me into many sexual things which i think is kinda strange considering he was a virgin before me. Plus recently i was told that when we first started dating that he staight up admitted to someone that he was only going to date me cuz he knew he'd get "some" because i had lost my virginity to my previous bf. He constantly makes me feel like a bad gf and that i never do anything right. i rarely see my friends but the few times i do he rants and says im always putting my friends first, before him. He is alwys sayin he doesnt know what to do with me (like when we are figthin) so that always leave me in fear that he is gonna dump me ...idk i dont know wat to do
all my friends think i should leave him..
but idk if i can i seriously love him so much..

Advice would be greatly appreciated

**sorry if i put this in the wrong section**


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Re: dont know if this fits in this section - June 25th 2010, 04:05 AM

Honestly, I know you don't want to hear it, but the only thing I can advise is to leave him, sorry.

Relationships like that tend to be extremely damaging on your confidence and self-esteem. As you said you "feel like a bad gf" but I can honestly say you aren't, you really deserve far better. Guilt trips, ranting, talking down to you and bad tempers are purely control methods. He knows you worry, so he makes you feel guilty to get his way and takes advantage of that. And he's already admitted he was dating you purely for sex, it's doubtful that he even loves you back.

I know you love him. I know he might be nice sometimes and I know it might be hard to imagine anyone else would love you and you fear being left alone. But you do deserve better and I can guarantee there is better out there. A relationship like that has no real future and will only get harder to break from the more your confidence is damaged. Turn to your friends for support and let them help you through this.

Anyway, that's just my advice on things, in the end the choice is yours, best of luck and stay strong.


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Emily. Offline
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Re: dont know if this fits in this section - June 25th 2010, 04:07 AM

Hey there,

It sounds to me that he is abusive. He shouldn't be pressuring you into anything sexual and it seems like he is emotionally abusive towards you as well.

And I'm going to have to agree with your friends on this. It doesn't seem like a good relationship to be in. If he loved you he wouldn't treat you this way. I know it can be hard to leave someone when you do love the, but you deserve better. You deserve to be treated with respect.

Maybe talk with your parents about what's going on? I know it can be hard, but I'm sure they would want to be there for you and support you in getting out of this relationship. Having that support can be a really big help and you deserve that.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
<3 Emily


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but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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