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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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shaytaan Offline
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Unhappy my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 03:36 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My dad is very abusive... I can't take it anymore He's done so many horrible things... Its hard to remember most of them but i remember the recent ones like when he put my hand in hot water til it burned and i tried to get away but hes so much stronger than me and now i'm freaking afraid to even wash my hands and when he held my head under the shower looking up so its hard to take a shower i always have visions of him drowning me and leaving more bruises on my neck and how he......... he says i'm possesed by the devil and my insides are messed up cuz just insidei'm the devil and should die and just aggh idk he does excorcisms where he holds me under water while saying quotes from the Bible until i can't breath and idk what to do cuz inside it feels so wrong :"( i'm not religious or anything its just... I'm not the devil am i??? and he says he hates me and he wishes that scum like me will just curl up and die and no one could ever love me :"(( and no one can cuz i feel like i'm so broken inside in two ways one is like how an animal is broken afraid to trust or love cuz deep down it hurts inside and i think that they'll turn around and hurt me more than i can take like he does i just can't trust and my girlfriend hates it that i can't trust her as much as she trusts me and she trusts me so much and i hate myself for not being able to trust her the same :"(( she says her cat was abused and that it found a person it could trust and broken things can feel trust and love if only to one person but i just can't yet :""""( and second way i'm broken is my soul :""( it feels like he broke it and stepped on the pieces til theirs nothing but tiny speckles left inside where normal people have a real soul i just have peices to far gone to be fixed :"( and just agh :"(( I'm sorry that this was so long but yeah lots to vent about... I'm not sure if there's more but i'm feeling faint (product of a concussion my dad gave me everytime i get sad or stressed or have a panic attack i black out) so sorry...

Last edited by Emily.; July 5th 2010 at 05:15 AM. Reason: changed prefix to fit guidelines
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 03:43 AM

Hey Sebz

First off, what your dad is doing is totally unacceptable and you are definitely not the devil. Secondly, you need to get out of that situation as soon as possible. Call the cops or CPS. You should also look into therapy because therapy could really help you a lot.
Click here for hotline numbers to call.
I hope everything turns out okay for you. Good luck! I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 08:00 AM

Hey sebs. <3

I'm so sorry to hear about everything your father puts you through. Please don't blame yourself, not even for a second. It's not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you- your dad is the one with serious problems.

You NEED to get yourself out of there, okay? I know it might be a terrifying thought but you do NOT have to put up with this abuse. Is there anybody you can go stay with? A family member? A friend? Just getting yourself out of the house is the first step. Just take it one step at a time.

I also would strongly advise reporting your dad to the police. I know he's your dad, and it might feel wrong reporting him or you might be scared, but he doesn't have the right to hurt you in this way and get away with it. If you don't want to go straight to the police, then go to the hospital next time you are injured in any way at all. Firstly, because you need to get your health checked out and secondly because the hospital can contact social services and get you safe.

You've been really strong so far, keep it up and don't be afraid to keep reaching out. <3
   
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 09:21 AM

you really need to tell someone, i know telling someone is hard and scary (been there done that) but you really do need to tell someone, is there a teacher at school, you like or feel you could talk to ? or maybe a friend or your girlfirend. you arent the devil. my dads simmilar, he is always telling me i need to change stop giving him attitude ect, tells me how i never do anything right. telling someone will help, maybe even tell the school counsellor or your doctor. i know telling someone is hard and scary, but you really do need to tell someone. once youve told someone like a teacher ect they should help you.



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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 09:28 AM

Really sorry to hear what you're going through, but the honest truth is you do not deserve it at all. What your father is doing is completely wrong, illegal and absolutely unacceptable. You need to report it to the police or authorities and get help for this, you honestly deserve so much better. You are not the devil, you've done nothing to hurt anyone and you're a nice person, so try your best to believe in yourself and don't feel at fault for anything.

If going to the police scares you, perhaps you could talk to your gf about all of this? She wants to be there for you and can help you. You don't need to tell her everything, but she could go to the police together with you, so you aren't alone. Honestly, things can get better, so don't give in and be proud of how far you've coped and stay strong. Best of luck.


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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 09:57 AM

I've tried to report him to the police but its just that well he's friends with the chief of police like best friends and he didn't believe me he just laughted and said my dad would never do that :""( and i have told my girlfriend about most of this just not the devil thing cuz that took me an hour to finally get the courage to post it and its so hard to say it over phone :""( and i don't wanna get taken away from my familty cuz my mom is asll i have left family wise she keeps me steady even though when my dad does this all she does is eithere watchg or join in but even though she on;ly abuses me if she's drunk its like noine out of ten times its not as much physical just she makes me feel like i deserved it but shes all i have left all the good memories before my dad came basck into my life :"""""""( i can't imagine losing her :"( shes the only familty that won't hurt me :"( and just how can i not be a monster inside?!?!?!?!?! I FEEL it whenever i SH i can feel it inside me devouring me and all it wants is to eat me using damn anxiety and cutting until nothing is left except for a shell and it can live in it and it won't be me :""""( i can already feel it happening me losing myself to... whatever is inside there :""(
   
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 4th 2010, 02:45 PM

If your local police department won't do anything, call another police department like from a nearby city or the neighboring county. He needs to be locked up and charged.
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 5th 2010, 12:27 AM

Hey there I'm sorry about what you are going through.
YOu HAVE to call the cops, you MUST!
Please do
And PM me any time

Things will be ok,
I promise


Stay forever lovely
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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 5th 2010, 02:07 AM

ooh my gosh...
listen you neeed to tell someone..
someone will help you
and you are NOT the devil..you are NOT possessed.
Trust me.
you are loved by God soo much, and He does not want that for you


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Re: my father abuses me :"( - July 6th 2010, 12:20 AM

Your dad is the one who is acting in an unacceptable manner.

I would call the police, as you do not deserve to be in this situation, and frankly he deserves to be prison for the way he has treated you.

You are NOT the devil and it is NOT your fault. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

As for trust, it is not uncommon for young people who have been abused to have that issue.

Just know that not everyone is like your father; matter of a fact most people will respect you.

It is NOT your fault.

Hang in there and PM me if you like.
   
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