Was I Molested?

[rkb_86]

About two years ago, I was at a party as the D.D.
My friend was introducing me as "the dyke" because I'm gay.
As the night went on, everyone became intoxicated.

A bunch of guys.. about four or five.. wanted to prove to me that I wasn't a lesbian.
I'm not quite sure all that happened or where I was touched, there were so many of them.
I know my clothes stayed on, and nothing made it's way inside me.. but that's about it.

I never really thought anything of it until I started freaking out whenever I asked someone to stop doing something to me and they wouldn't.

Does it mean I was molested if it's affecting my life now?
I'm pretty confused..

[Digital Emotions]

In general, past events can influence how you feel even if you have no recollection of them. On the other hand, you could just as easily be responding to fear: either fear that you felt at the time, regarding what they might do to you, or fear that you feel now, regarding what they might have done to you that you would know at that time but not know at the present time. I anticipate that someone else will be much more helpful than I. But first of all, are you sure that this "freaking out" of yours is new, and did not apply before that party?

[rkb_86]

I believe it's new.. and if it's not, it's way more recognizable now than before this all happened.

[Emily.]

Hey there Rachel.

I would definitely consider what happened assault. No one has the right to touch you without your permission. What they did was wrong and in no way your fault.

It's a pretty common reaction to have trouble handling others touching you after being hurt this way. I know I still have a hard time with being touched, especially when i'm not prepared for it. For quite a while I had to tell myself in my head that whatever was happening, like being hugged or something, was an okay touch - that i was fine and safe. It takes time, but it gets much easier. Promise.

It might really help you to talk with a counselor about what happened and some of the things you're struggling with. You definitely do not have to go through this alone. Also, talk to your family and friends. Sometimes it helps to just have the support of the people around us.

I hope you're doing okay. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk.
<3 Emily