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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Lil'OrphanAnnie Offline
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abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 15th 2010, 01:37 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

well my boyfriend would mentally abuse me. He would say im not good enough to get anyone else and that he was the best thing that happened to me. he left me twice and im done with him. i was wondering how has anyone here gotten over the mental abuse, or even other abuse. I dont know why i forgive him, but i think its becasue i feel like its true. Like no one will ever choose me. I just wish i could forget what he said, but i cant. any ideas on how to get over it, or move on from it? thank you.

Also he would date different girls on the side. just to remind me that I was chasing him. it hurts still


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Last edited by Emily.; July 27th 2010 at 03:59 AM. Reason: changed prefix to fit guidelines
   
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Re: abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 15th 2010, 01:42 AM

I went through something similar, but there was physical abuse there as well. However mine was only for a year or two-ish. People are right when they say that sometimes you need to forgive the other person in order to heal. The way I did this was by...well, I just ended up pitying him. Me and him are friends now and we can openly talk about it, he will openly admit that he was a c*nt to me (his words) and we just...respect each other more. He's like my brother now. I'm not suggesting you should stay in contact with your ex, the reason Im still in contact with mine is because of his family made it so we couldn't really get that much distance, and we missed each other. We where friends before everything fucked up.



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Re: abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 15th 2010, 01:45 AM

Hey Rose,
I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend has told you all this. You don't deserve anything that he said. When someone wants to get over any type of abuse, usually it takes a lot of work talking with someone like a counselor, but that's not always the case. When I was younger in a similar situation, once I was removed from it completely, I was able to readjust my focus somewhere else. You might also think you're forgiving him, but ultimately it could just be your brain's way of trying to accept it and forget about it like it never happened.

None of what he said is true. From now on, try to think of the things that make you who you are and what makes you happy. And if you do start to think about him, think about any good times you had and not that bad. I wish you the best of luck. PM me at anytime if you need too.


Never regret anything because at one time, it's exactly what you wanted. PM me. (:

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Re: abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 27th 2010, 11:00 PM

aw sweetheart don't you believe what he said for a second. You are very valuable and i bet you could get a lot of different guys out there. In fact he probably told you that because he really knows that you are worth a lot and also he wants you to believe you are not worth anything because he wanted to get what he could out of you and still be the idiot he is and get other girls on the side. What you need is to remember that you are a wonderful person and even without meeting you i know that because someone kind enough to forgive a heartless jerk like him is truely kind. Don't focus on that loser, focus on yourself and going where you need to get in life. Get through school and keep being the person you are and NOT who he told you you were. You can get another guy and a better one but hes just coming along so you have to just be the great person you are and he will come along. In the mean time smile don't be looking down at the floor lol and walk confidently, because somewhere out there theres a great guy looking for exactly you and he just hasn't found you yet. I'm talking about a good guy who knows how to treat you the way you DESERVE to be treated and thats like a PRINCESS.
   
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Re: abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 27th 2010, 11:01 PM

I almost forgot if you need to talk to me you can pm me i can relate to you and try my very best to help you
   
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Re: abused by my boyfriend for 6 years - July 29th 2010, 10:40 PM

I was mentally abused by my stepfather, I met him when I was four. It just continually escalated until my mother left him. He's gone now. He used to do the same thing and I find it hard to forget.

Let's both be a bit hypocritical, here. I'm sure you'd say the same to me. He is gone and does not control you any longer! Well, as for not being able to forget... neither can I. People don't seem to understand, they say forgive and forget, smile and move on. I've been trying, but it seems impossible to do either of those things. Words are a harsh, and powerful tool. They are humankind's most beloved... and yet, most hated creation. They can be either or. You will move on when you are ready to move on. Always remember that it takes a strong person to endure what you went through for so long. You never have to go back, or succumb to it ever again. You are stronger.


And,

YOU ARE STRONG!!!

Keep in mind that it is not, never was, and never will be. You are strong and beautiful.

Keep marching on! All the best! xxx


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Smiles! -Felicia
   
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