Triggering: My bro sexually abused me as a kid :(

[cartoonmania]

Hi,

This is the first time i've really spoken out to so many people about this but i really need help. Back when i was 8, my older (by 4 years) brother sexually abused me on many ocassions. From touching to oral sex to penetration. One evening my dad walked in and caught us. My bro immediatley said that he didn't start it, which luckily my dad didn't believe and he got into a lot of trouble. My dad just said "It wasn't your fault." and that was it. Never discussed it after that. I don't know if my mum was told. Probably, but i've never dared bring it up in case she doesn't. It would kill her if she found out. Anyway, it didn't happen again after that day, and my brother seems to just pretend it never happened, but it's been haunting me for years. I haven't been able to get very close to anyone, and already having depression and anxiety it's a bad mix.I still get on with my brother, but he seems quite a split personality on me some times. I don't know how i get over what happened and just get on with my life. What should i do?

[**Theresa**]

None of this is your fault and welcome to TH, I am sorry about what happen and i know how you feel because the same thing to happen to me, and it was my cosin and my grandmother and the reason i am sharing this with you is so you knoow that i know how you feel and been in the same boat as you where, but i have been talking to a therapist over the years and she has helped me alot and i still have the flah backs but it will never go away but i have been able to live without it brothering me so much but there are times that they coudl come back but it takes time

if you need to talk you can PM me anytime

Theresa

[Ryan1]

Welcome to TeenHelp!

What he did was horrible and shameful to say the very least. Although if he knew back then the damage he was doing to you I don’t believe he would have done it. It’s a good thing your father caught him because this could have been worse. Trying to heal after something like that can really leave a scar. I whole heartily believe you should forgive him. I know that’s hard but you can’t go through life beating yourself up.

The fact that you came here to look for help is a great sign that your trying to vent and get this off your chest - Good for you!

[SftBallbabe99]

It's hard to get over something like that without help. Depending on how old you are, would it be possible for you to talk to a counselor about it? I know it sounds scary, but as long as you aren't in danger, it's completely confidential. They really can be a lot of help, but you've got to be willing to let them. I'm not sure it's going to be possible for you to completely "get over it" without external help. If you're high school aged, you can talk to a counselor at your school, and they could help, or refer you somewhere else. If you don't want to do that, try to find out about places in your area that offer free counseling. I'm sure that there will be somewhere close you can go to.

[cartoonmania]

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. I must admit, after finally telling someone about it, I feel a little better. It's been bottled up for more than a decade, and to finally say it out loud lifted a bit of the weight off me. I'm greatful to all of you who responded and am truly sorry that you have had to go through a similar experience. I'm going to investigate some form of free councilling as i'm currently unemployed. Thank you again everyone. x

[MiriamW]

Good luck with the councelling cartoon mania