Female Advice Preferred: Um not really sure if this goes here or not...

[Kara396]

I have been sexually abused and when he did things he would touch me and stick his fingers "up there" and he would do that a lot but the problem is now it really hurts to put a tampon in. Like really, really badly. It also scares me cause what he did just really freaks me out and every time I try putting a tampon in I can only think of him. But like I said, it really, really hurts to put one in. Is it possible that he tore something in there?

[facade]

the best thing is for you to go to the doctor.
he's the only one that can be sure whether or not something is wrong..
but it will probably trigger all the memories when he checks...

stay strong <3

[Kara396]

The problem is, my parents don't know about what happened, so I really can't go see a doctor...

[Mehhhhhh]

You can go to the doctor by yourself- Providing you can walk or get a bus. You just need to phone for an appointment and your parents never have to know. Though if you have been abused perhaps it would be good if they did know- So they could help you through it

[Kara396]

I have a friend helping me through it, I still live with the guy who abused me so it's hard, he still does it... But that's beside the point. The friend I told (who is the only person i've talked to about the abuse situation) is a guy. So he really wouldn't have any idea how to answer my question. I know that sometimes people don't put in the tampon right but I have been trying for 4 years now and it still hurts like hell and I know i'm doing it right. I'm supposed to get a pelvic examine in a couple of years but I really want to know sooner. Is it even possible that he tore something? There was blood when he did it...

[ForeverAutumn*]

Kelsey -

Honestly, it would be a good idea either way to talk to your doctor about this. We're not medical professionals so we can't tell you for sure what's going on - but I strongly recommend getting your doctor's opinion. It is possible that he could have done damage, or there may be another reason why this is going on.. but again, you won't know for sure until you talk to a professional. Is there someone else who knows, besides your friend, someone who could drive you to your doctor's office? Another family member, a teacher, a friend's parent? You don't necessarily have to tell the person who takes you WHY you need to go - just say something like, "I think there's something wrong with my body and I want to see someone to make sure everything's okay, please don't ask questions because I'm not comfortable discussing it."

It's really good you have someone to help you through this.. support is great, you know? You can never, ever have too much of it. I know you said your parents aren't aware of what happened, but if you're living in the same house as the guy who abused you, it might be a good idea to let your parents know what's going on. Your parents care about you and just want to help - having them on your side could make things a lot easier. And, it's probably not a good idea to be in the same house as your abuser; it's not safe, you don't know if he may hurt you again, it could affect the healing process, etc. Telling someone about being abused is a hard step to take! So it's okay to be scared or nervous to talk to your parents. Maybe your friend could be there when you tell them what happened - having a familiar face could make it a little bit easier, and again, having extra support is great.

Best of luck and take good care of yourself.

[Kara396]

I'm having a lot of trust problems...like the friend I told is the only person who know and he's the only person I trust...I was sexually abused by 3 different people and now I only live with 1....I really, really wish I could go to the doctor but in all honesty, I can't and I have a feeling that my parents wouldn't believe me about the whole situation...everyone pities the guy who sexually abuses me for no reason. They think he is depressed when really, i'm the one who is probably depressed...things are hard but it was hard enough to tell the guy that I did and I spent all summer with him at camp and often spent my nights hugging him and crying...

[someoneoutthere]

having that one person is really important. you dont always need a whole bunch of people that you can turn to. i know i only have that one person, and for me thats enough.. if you have to question those other people and whether they'll believe you or not, then they probably arent the right people to talk to. dont be afraid of the doctor, they're on your side.. like i tell the ones i love; this next part may not be easy, but life never is easy. you have come this far, just get through this next little bit, be strong, and one day you'll hold your head high.