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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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My friend just told me he was abused.. - August 23rd 2010, 03:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't want to go into detail. It happened a few years ago (we're both 17, now) by a distant brother, who physically abused him on multiple occasions using numerous methods.
His brother is now trying to get back in with his family, and my friend is scared shitless. I don't believe his family is giving much support there.

What can I do for him? What can I say? I want to help so badly.

I've told him I'm there for him, and try to be as supportive as I can in any possible way. I just don't know what else to do.

Last edited by Alexx; August 23rd 2010 at 04:03 PM.
   
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Re: My friend just told me he was abused.. - August 23rd 2010, 07:29 PM

Having you there surporting him will be helping him alot, a small gesture like this can be a big thing. maybe if his brother comes come you could go over to his place when the brother comes home for surport. i hope all goes well.


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Re: My friend just told me he was abused.. - August 25th 2010, 07:31 PM

Thankyou for your comment That is a good idea. I've told him if he ever needs to he can come and stay at mine if it helps. I'm just really worried about him. It's clearly affecting him badly.

Also.. I'm the first person outside of his family that he's ever spoken to about it. I suffer with anxiety and depression, and people have always told me to speak to a professional. Should I encourage him to do so, too? It's a really different situation and I don't think he would speak to anyone anyway.

I wish I could help more. He's so brave.
   
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Re: My friend just told me he was abused.. - August 26th 2010, 12:50 AM

I'd suggest confronting him right way, just lay it down on the table. Say what you did to me years ago was horrible its not going to continue, please stay away from me. If anything goes wrong tell everyone, he's got nothing to lose. Sometimes if you let it build up it becomes to much. As for you, I'd recommend being there for him once his brother is home. Call him and ask hows it going...

Your friend should defiantly say something to his brother when he comes to live with him.
   
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Re: My friend just told me he was abused.. - August 28th 2010, 07:45 AM

I can say that you can let your friend know that you are there to listen and give a loving hug to him. I can say that confront will do no good for him, it will escalat4 and possibly violent and that is not necessary especially after suffering through some of things he might have gone through. But all I can say is that he should see a professional and have someone who he can feel like won't judge him on his past and feels like there is someone there to listen.


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