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Unhappy Its all my fault... - August 26th 2010, 05:51 AM

something happened some years ago. i watched the whole thing. right in front of my eyes i watched him do it to her.
i didnt do anything. i couldnt. i was scared to death. to this day i strongly feel that it is all my fault... i will always feel that way
   
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Re: Its all my fault... - August 26th 2010, 05:02 PM

It's not your fault.
If I were in the same situation as you were... I would be afraid also.
I don't think that I would have the nerve to stop it either.
Yes, you probably could have told him to stop, but what would have happened afterwards?
Would he have went after you? Would it happen to you ALSO?
Would you have been able to fight him off...?

It's not your fault. & It never will be either.
You weren't the one that did it...

STAY STRONG <3
   
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Re: Its all my fault... - August 26th 2010, 05:38 PM

thank you so much:')
you are completely right, and i think i'm starting to understand that it actually wasnt my fault. its really affecting me right now and there isnt really anyone to talk about it with.
thanks again<3


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that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
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Re: Its all my fault... - August 26th 2010, 08:00 PM

Hey -

I can't imagine how scary that must have been for you, seeing something so horrible. Not speaking up or stopping him does NOT make what happened your fault, though. It was a very scary situation to be in, it's okay that you were afraid - it's a natural reaction.

As much as we want to sometimes - we can't change the past. We can't go back to a point in time and make a different decision, we can't change the things we've done or didn't do, the things we did and did not say. What happened, happened; it's in the past, and this is the present. I think, the longer you keep a foot in the past, the longer you stay caught up in what happened before, the longer it's going to take for YOU to heal from what happened.

It can take a while to not just understand, but truly believe that what happened was not your fault, and to accept the fact you were afraid - fear isn't incriminating, though. You experienced a natural reaction to a horrible thing and that's not your fault.

Talking to someone about this could be very helpful. If you can, you may want to consider talking to the girl who was hurt. It may help you gain a sort of closure over what happened, to talk to her and explain what was going through your head, and to know that she doesn't blame you. You could also talk to a friend you trust, someone in your family, an adult at your school.. anyone you feel comfortable going to for support or advice, or just someone who'll listen.

Take really good care of yourself.



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Re: Its all my fault... - August 26th 2010, 10:37 PM

thanks sarah, the healing process has been really rough and with other things going on i never got the chance to move past it. you have really made a difference by what you said.
talking about it has been extremely hard, and there are very few people who i'm comfortable with.
all of your suggestions make sense and i'm gonna try to get back to the present.
thank you, from my heart, for opening my eyes a little bit more.


-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
<3
-red jumpsuit apparatus
   
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