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BrokenHeart315 Offline
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Name: Belle
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Location: United States. The Cold State.

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Join Date: December 22nd 2009

Hurt - August 30th 2010, 07:28 PM

One of my biggest 'secrets' is that I have been raped...I just really don't like to talk about it, I'm not afraid he'll come back and do it again or anything, but whenever I think about it I can feel him and smell him & the ground and it's just too painful to talk about, so I just didn't tell anyone. (I know I'll get replys saying I should...it happened years ago and it won't do anything except upset me to talk about it with someone.) Anyway, I didn't get pregnant or anything and I've had to give blood & urine samples at all my checkups, so I'm fine STD-wise.
A couple weeks ago, my ex-boyfriend was harrassing me about his new girlfriend & how he 'loves' her & all that (the day before he slept with her he told me he'd love me forever & he'd kill himself if he ever lost me, so he's pretty full of shit.) & she was doing it too & she was talking about how she's been through more than me because she's had boyfriends that wanted more than she was willing to give or whatever. (Which is a lie anyway, she has sex with anyone who asks. Not exaggerating, I've seen a boy offer to pay her to have sex with him & she took it. And she had a boyfriend at the time...) I finally snapped & told them I was raped, she just stopped texting, & he went on about how he didn't care about that, he only cares about what his new girlfriend goes through. (which is absolutely nothing.)
I just feel like no one's ever going to care what's happened to me because I'm not worth caring about...and since I've told them I've just thought about what happened over and over again and he doesn't care.
Also there's this new guy who is really interested in me, I don't really like many guys but he seems sweet so far, but a couple of my friends know him & a friend of my ex (a different ex, he's actually semi-decent.) used to date him & basically they think he's just out for sex, I don't want to judge him just based on that, but I also don't want to just be stupid...
Gah. So what do I do?

I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
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Youth Pastor Offline
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Re: Hurt - August 31st 2010, 12:51 PM

I can speak for a lot of people on here when I say we do care what happened and you are worth caring about. It really upsets me when I hear about how girls get used like that. As far as the guy right now I'd be careful. This guy may be genuine but guys also play the emotional game of luring a girl in by being sweet and nice but once they get what they want they move on. If he starts throwing out hints of wanting to do anything just say it's over right there, just make sure you don't put yourself in a bad situation. Even though I'm a guy if you want to talk more just PM me. If not that's cool too.

To the world you might be one person but to one person you might be the world

Failure isn't when you get knocked down, it's when you don't get back up
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