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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Nutty Nat Offline
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Can i have some advice for the following please - September 5th 2010, 02:56 PM

Well as most of you know i was gropped in college(im from uk and its different to normal colleges it is based on a farm and there is 5 classrooms,1 grooming room,and then theres the rest of the rooms where the animals are and the barns and the cafe),anyway back to my thing i want advice on:the guy that gropped me is still in college i can't avoid him due to the small space in college,i can't move college because they are all too far away and i just want a way to help cope with having to see him.


Love you Naomi R.I.P i miss you loads but i will never forget you
08/11/92 - 10/11/92

R.I.P Gill - I love you as a second mum,will never forget you and all your advice,oh and i will keep smiling like you wanted see
Going to try continue helping people like you wanted and you did,hope i'm making you proud
   
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Re: Can i have some advice for the following please - September 8th 2010, 08:43 PM

Hey Nat, I'm sorry you had to go through that and that you have to see him everyday. From my experience I don't think you will ever get over seeing him and thinking about what he did. but if you're just trying to cope then try not to think about him at all. when you see him pretend he is someone else. give him stupid little nicknames that make you laugh everytime you think of them. avoid eye contact and don't talk to him.
I have to see the man that attacked me sometimes. Everytime I freeze and tense up and almost can't breathe. As soon as he's out of sight i start crying. I know that doesn't seem reassuring but just stay strong. Remember that you are better than he is and you won't let him bring you down. stay strong hun. PM me anytime


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Re: Can i have some advice for the following please - September 9th 2010, 02:01 AM

Hey there,

This sounds like a really tough situation to be in. I am sorry that you have to continue seeing him. I know that I constantly worry about seeing the person who abused me. There is no real way to over come the feelings that come up when you see him but there are ways to cope with it.

While I have never seen the person who abused me I have made some plans in my head as to what I would do if I did see him. I don't know how well those plans will actually work once I see him but I can hope for the best.

One thing I plan to do if I ever see my attacker is to avoid any contact with him. If I can act as if he doesn't exist I believe it will make the situation a little bit better. I know that I will probably still be a really tough situation but when you don't acknowledge someone it is lessl ikely that they will acknowledge you and so forth.

I have decided that if I see him I will go to a safe place. Seeing as I could see him anywhere really I designated the public bathroom as the safe place. If I see him and feel overwhelmed about it I can go into the bathroom and calm down. Maybe you could do something like that?

Now, have you talked to anyone about the groping that took place? I know you might not want to do that but most schools have a sexual harrassment policy and if you were to go to your principal or whatever they might be able to help you with this situation.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Nutty Nat Offline
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Re: Can i have some advice for the following please - September 10th 2010, 04:31 PM

Thanks for the replies laughter and Jenna,well Jenna I have already reported it last year well this year(march) it happened in oct/nov 2009 so ive been through the college procedure and it was too late to go to the police as i now have no evidence and the witnesses i did have said i was lying etc so then two so called friends ended up lying for him so then i was left with the fact nobody believed me apart from people on here and my counsellor(well she will be my counsellor again when i phone up and make an appointment),Samaratiains have given up on me tbh.So basically he got away with it,and hes left to roam the college and i can't move to another one unfortunately.I have two more years left then i can go to uni or into a job.

I have had to put up with seeing him monday,tuesday this week and thats it,next week im not sure about yet as we are still on our induction timetables and don't get our offical ones till monday or thursday next week.
I am trying to jsut get on with my college stuff but its very hard tbh seeing him every two minutes hes not in my groups or anything as hes on the level below me.


Love you Naomi R.I.P i miss you loads but i will never forget you
08/11/92 - 10/11/92

R.I.P Gill - I love you as a second mum,will never forget you and all your advice,oh and i will keep smiling like you wanted see
Going to try continue helping people like you wanted and you did,hope i'm making you proud
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Nutty Nat Offline
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Re: Can i have some advice for the following please - September 20th 2010, 08:12 PM

Its too hard to see him


Love you Naomi R.I.P i miss you loads but i will never forget you
08/11/92 - 10/11/92

R.I.P Gill - I love you as a second mum,will never forget you and all your advice,oh and i will keep smiling like you wanted see
Going to try continue helping people like you wanted and you did,hope i'm making you proud
   
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