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forget what his done and stay or forget and move on? - September 11th 2010, 05:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

now where to start
been with my bf for almost a yr and a half but just after a yr he started acting weired he new i didnt want sex b4 marriage but he still kept pushin me into it even tho he new i didnt and still carried on also he ent been tryin treatin right since ive tried leavin him but not had much luck also because of what his done im beginnin to not feel the same way has i have done even tho he says his learnt and will never do it again but im findin it so hard to beleive or trust him ive tried tellin my mom but i cant tell her because she thinks of him as family.
should i just try and forget what his done and stay with him or leave him for good and stop contact all together if so whats the best way for doing so?
thanx sorry its so long x

Last edited by Emily.; September 11th 2010 at 07:38 PM. Reason: changed prefix to fit guidelines
   
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Re: forget what his done and stay or forget and move on? - September 11th 2010, 06:53 PM

People very rarely change, and unfortunately if he's done it once, it's very likely he could be pushy again in the future. Naturally he isn't going to tell you that he's likely to do it again, so the having "learnt his lesson" part is probably just telling you what you want to hear or trying to manipulate you.

Telling your mother everything might be an idea. He might be "like family", but that's most likely because your mother doesn't know what he's really like and is under the impression he's nice. Don't be afraid to be straight with her on what's happened, don't hide anything he's done either. Remember, you are her family, and her main priority should be your happiness, not his.

The most important thing is to remember you deserve far better and to not let anyone push you into something you don't want yourself. If you want to leave him, then do. You don't owe him to stick around and put up with treatment like that. Getting out now would be a lot better than waiting and finding it nearly impossible to break free once the situation is worse.

Stay strong, best of luck and really hope things work out.


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Re: forget what his done and stay or forget and move on? - September 12th 2010, 10:31 PM

I've been in a similiar situation and he never changed.
The guy you're with may just be saying what you want to hear. It's a tough thing to get through, believe me. But if you break all ties now rather than later, it'll be much less painful and I agree with above poster, your mother should understand.
Good luck.


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Re: forget what his done and stay or forget and move on? - September 13th 2010, 02:06 AM

I agree with Laim up here. Just because he is considered "family" does not mean your mother or you should ignore what he has done to you. Even if he is trying to be nice to you know and make up for it, what he did was wrong. If you say no, he should have stopped.

I think stopping contact for the next little while would be prudent, but you also need to report him. If you don't report him, there is nothing to stop him from walking up to you and disturbing you again. The first thing you need to be thinking off is your own safety, not your mother's feelings for your boyfriend. If he hurt you, no matter how kind he is now, he will not really change and it mill happen again, and the cycle will keep going on. so it is best to stop it right now.

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