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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Unhappy fighting back..? - September 13th 2010, 08:28 AM

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okay so is fighting back a good thing or not?
i normal try to fight backish- pinch, scratch- im just wondering if i fully punched him in the face or something if he would leave me alone.

it had been nearly 2 months since the last time he hit me and then last weekend poof he got angry, hit me, mum had to drag him away from me.
the week before he pushed mum, andyesterday he kneed me in the side a few times and slapped my around the head with his phone, im freaking tht he will be as violent as he was before.

so if i punched back, do you think he would realize im not going to be pushed around all the time? or will it make it worse?

please help im shitting myself that im going to get hurt.


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Last edited by Emily.; September 13th 2010 at 05:58 PM. Reason: changed prefix to fit guidelines
   
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Re: fighting back..? - September 13th 2010, 08:50 AM

I'll admit that I don't know much about this kind of thing, but I think that fighting back will probably make it worse. I mean, if he's hitting you out of anger than you hitting him will likely enrage him further and possibly cause him to do worse.
At the same time just taking the beating is bad as well, if you can do anything the best thing you can probably do is try and restrain him.
   
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Re: fighting back..? - September 13th 2010, 08:55 AM

restraining someone who is bigger and stronger then you isnt easy
ive been trying to keep my mouth shut, keep out of his way so i cant do anything wrong but still...i say/do something then get hurt, im to weak to even get away from him, he'll someway get me so i cant get away. arghhh!


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Re: fighting back..? - September 15th 2010, 09:31 AM

we had another figh i tried punching back didnt work... i want him to hit me bad, get hurt just so i can have something more solid against him if i end up reporting him...and for the mean time im thinking of going to stay with a friend for a few days... how do i get around my mum, she wont be happy with me if i just up and leave but i cannot tell her how much stress im under being at home... stress effecting my health


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Re: fighting back..? - September 17th 2010, 08:20 PM

i have to say it depends on the person and how they are maybe if you can give me more info like pm me? i have alot of experience with people like this
   
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Re: fighting back..? - September 19th 2010, 01:17 PM

Beka,

You shouldn't have to fight someone in order to be safe. I mean, I think it is good that you want to fight back because it takes a lot of courage but you should not need too. You should be in an environment where you are feeling safe and secure. And, to be honest, fighting back could lead to more trouble depending on how mad your abuser is, yes?

Now, the first suggestion I am going to make is that you report this to the police. If you have any bruises try taking pictures so you have proof. While police don't necessarily need 'hard' evidence to do anything it might prove more beneficial if you have those pictures. I remember a time when my aunt got beaten badly and she took pictures and when reporting it the police told her that would help her a lot.

While I know reporting this might be scary to do I hate the fact that you are having to live in an unsafe environment. EVERYONE deserves happiness, safety and love and I promise you are no different. If you report this you might, eventually, be given the chance to find that love and saftey.

Another suggestion I would make is getting out of the house. Go to your friends house or a family members house, etc just get way. I think you should just tell your mom that you need to leave for you own safety and if she doesn't understand it then maybe you should consider bringing in another family member or friend to talk some sense into her.

I know this is a tough situation and I am sorry I don't have a lot to say but please hang in there and know that I am here if you need anything.

Jenna


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