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Megan Smith Offline
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Broken - October 2nd 2010, 12:38 PM

I'm posting this under Self Harm too because I don't know where it belongs...
Okay, so I've kind of taken one step forward and two steps back today. It's been six days since I was raped by my aunty's husband. And for the first time I was able to actually tell someone out loud about it. Sadly I had to be drunk to do so (first step back). Even worse was that talking about it made me remember it and I ended up cutting for the first time in....at least 18 months. I'm in pain, inside. I can't handle it. I think I'm okay but I'm not. I feel sick to my stomache that this man walks freely within the houses of my family members...I have to pretend that everything is fine between us. I'm terrified because he didn't use a condom and I know I have to get examined eventually...but I can't even see two people kissing without freaking out, so how am I gonna get through that...this is not how I thought I would handle something like this. I never thought I'd be so weak. I can't sleep, I get flashbacks constantly, if someone says a certain word or I see a certain thing...I'm a mess. I don't feel like I could ever trust anyone again.
   
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Re: Broken - October 2nd 2010, 05:34 PM

Having a family member do that will shake you up. I know you want to hide this but something needs to be said to your parents and even to him. I can see how trusting someone would be hard. I hope this site helps you to be able to express your thoughts. Sadly, there are a lot of people on here who know how you feel because they went through it also. I would highly encourage you to try to be open with people who have gone through the same thing. Just remember, you're not alone in this!


To the world you might be one person but to one person you might be the world

Failure isn't when you get knocked down, it's when you don't get back up
   
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Re: Relapse - October 2nd 2010, 06:59 PM

im so sorry u went through that. u need to tell someone who can stop him. Not only because of you but because if you dont he could hurt someone else and im guessing u font want anyone going through what uve gone through
   
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Re: Broken - October 16th 2010, 08:24 PM

i know what you are feeling since something also happen between me and my cosin and he is able to walk freely without no feeling what so ever and i used and still sometimes i get very freaked because of what someones says or if i see someone that looks like someone that has hurt me and i know i have been able to kind of ease a little but, some questions still brother me and some conversations but, during those i just get up and walk away so i will not get scared.

I am here if you want to talk, you can pm any time

Theresa
   
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