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astrogirl Offline
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Does it ever get better???? - October 10th 2010, 11:46 PM

so basically i'm struggling a lot....it's been two years but i'm struggling so much...It started to come back two weeks ago.....
I'm struggling with my eating disorder, i'm struggling with flashbacks, i'm struggling with really bad nightmares so i don't even want to go to bed at night, i get like 2 hours of sleep...
I'm struggling with dissociation....I feel like the world is going on around me, like i'm in a dream...like nothing's really real...and sometimes i can't even remember an entire day what i did, i just know i went to class but i didn't really learn anything since i was so out of it....I've done things like missed class that i would never do if i was fully conscious....
It's really bothering me....
AGH i doin't know what to do
i'm in college and people are starting to notice i'm not myself anymore, so i don't really know, i can't really tlak to them about it, i don't want to burden them or make htem worry....
like i know a few friends have figured out something's wrong, and someone guessed what it was, and said i could talk to her, but still....I just can;t, i don't want to burden people or make them worry..
I'm seeing a new counselor, she knows something hapepned but she doesn't know what yet, and i' not comfortable with her enough yet to tell her...
I just feel so stupid, why is this happening NOW after so long....ugh :/
any advice? I just don't know anymore :/

Last edited by astrogirl; October 10th 2010 at 11:53 PM.
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ForeverAutumn* Offline
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Re: Does it ever get better???? - October 11th 2010, 12:51 AM

Hey there,

For a very long time, I was terrified to reach out to my friends for support. I didn't want to burden them with my problems when they had problems of their own, and I didn't want to make them worry. They pushed me to talk, though - they told me over and over that they cared and they wanted to help. And that's the thing about friendship. The people around you truly care about you, and if they're your friends, they want to help. They want to be there for you, to support you and help you through this. It's not burdening them at all to reach out for support. They're your friends for a reason. Talking to anyone about abuse or assault is scary, and it's difficult and uncomfortable, but it's a lot easier when you're talking to someone who you know cares about you, someone you feel comfortable and safe around.

The friend who said you can talk to her - take her up on that offer. You don't have to tell her everything at once. You don't even have to tell her much at all. Often, the best way to start talking about the past is by taking very small steps. By that, I mean, talk about one small thing that happened to you and how you're affected by it. Then, as you become more comfortable with talking about things, and as you learn to trust the people around you, talk a little bit more about what you've been through. Eventually, you'll have told the whole story, AND you'll have people around you who can provide support. Honestly, your friends may be your most valuable support system. Counseling can be a great help, don't get me wrong - but your friends are the ones who know you and love you for who you are, the ones you call in the middle of the night when you're scared and need someone to talk to. They're the ones who you can trust to keep you safe, to look out for you and always always be there. So it really is worth it to trust your friends and to open up to them.

A lot of people don't know how to react when they find out a close friend was abused or assaulted. It's difficult to know how to help without experience. So if someone reacts in a way you're not expecting, or a way that's not helpful - don't use it as a reason to close up, and don't let it keep you from reaching out in the future. Talk to the people around you, don't be afraid to use your voice and tell them what you need, how best they can help you and so on. Speak up, verbalize what you're thinking and feeling, and don't hold back - because your friends can only help you if you're honest.

The feelings of dissociation and the flashbacks will ease with time, as you talk more about your past and advance in the healing process. The more you talk, the more you're allowing your mind to process what happened to you. In the meantime, create a support plan.. for when you're triggered. Find ways to ground yourself, things to remind you you're safe, in the present, etc.

Here if you need to / want to talk about anything, okay? Take very good care of yourself.

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luvflamingos Offline
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Re: Does it ever get better???? - October 11th 2010, 11:47 PM

I can not help you with why it is happening now, but you are in no way stupid. I completely understand with not wanting to burden people. It is something I struggle with daily even on here. My suggestion is counseling. If you have someone very close to you who you trust, then you could choose that as an option. But if you have access to a therapist or counselor, they have many "tools" that can over time help you in many, many ways. I wish you all the best!
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