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noseatbelt Offline
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Name: Toni
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Question Coping? - October 18th 2010, 11:52 PM

Since I was taken advantage of this summer after drinking myself into a black out, I've been plagued by feelings of worthlessness and filthiness. It eats at me every single day.

How have you learned to cope with this? Have you learned to cope at all?
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Eternal Offline
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Re: Coping? - October 19th 2010, 01:49 AM

Hey Toni,
I know that it can be a pretty tragic thing to be taken advantage of. Sadly several people on this site have had the same experience so it shouldn't be too hard to find people to relate too. What I would recommend is to make some plans with friends and do some hobbies to take your mind off of it. Keep yourself busy. Remember, you are a great person and you did not deserve to be treated that way. You are not worthless.

I know how you feel however. How someone only wanted you for one thing and they got it. But don't let this take away all of your self confidence and self esteem. There are several people who love you for you and care about you.

And here you are living, despite it all.
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laughter Offline
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Re: Coping? - October 20th 2010, 12:21 AM

Hey Toni, After someone did that to me i had similar feelings. Unfortunately some feelings never go away. But they fade dramatically. What helps me get through is having someone to talk to. One person that I trust and care about that cares about me and loves me no matter what. He always listens and never judges. If you can find that one person in your life then talk to them. It can be a friend or relative or boyfriend/girlfriend or maybe even someone on here that can relate to your situation. but know that you aren't alone. PM me if you'd like =]

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Re: Coping? - October 20th 2010, 10:00 PM

Hey Toni,

I agree with Lilah. Some of these feelings may never go away, but with time, they'll weaken. You know the saying "time heals all wounds"? While that's a really cliche description, it is somewhat true when it comes to healing from abuse or assault. Time alone won't make it less difficult to cope, but a combination of time and active recovery efforts will make it significantly easier.

Coping is hard. It's really, really hard - I'm sure you know that as well as I do. While it may be difficult, though, it's certainly not impossible. There ARE healthy ways to cope, methods of distracting or grounding yourself when you're triggered, and tricks that can ease the healing process. A great example is talking; when you talk about these thoughts and feelings, you're being forced to deal with them, to face them head on instead of push them away. At first, talking brings back some overwhelming emotions, but with time and practice it becomes easier to deal. Talking makes the emotions less intense, and therefore manageable.

It may not be easy to cope, but again, it's not impossible. Find someone you can open up to about this, find ways to take your mind off triggers, hobbies or activities or distraction methods that calm and relax you.
I'm here if you need anything.. take good care of yourself.

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