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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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mccacon97 Offline
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Friend bring abused - October 29th 2010, 09:27 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have a good friend of mine whose being abused by a guy that she knows, we are both thirteen and this guy is about fifteen. She has a swollen face and is getting bruises and cuts all over. She won't leave her house because she's scared he will find out where she lives.
She won't go anywhere she normally goes and it's destroying her life. She can't tell anyone otherwise he hits her harder. I keep trying to get her to go to a teacher or something but she's too scared.
What can she do? and what can i do to make it better for her, i can keep seeing her so sad and sore from this
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Re: Friend bring abused - October 29th 2010, 09:57 AM

Go to the police and tell them about this case of assault/battery, along with numerous other things, let the authorities handle this, its not just being mean, its a CRIME.

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Re: Friend bring abused - October 29th 2010, 03:10 PM

I agree please DO NOT take it into your own hands. Try going to the police first tryinvg sitting down with ur firend I no how its like to be getting hurt u feel no one is there be there for her

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Re: Friend bring abused - October 29th 2010, 07:05 PM

Hey -

I'm NOT trying to sound patronizing at all here - but the two of you are thirteen years old. While I don't doubt that both of you are very mature and responsible, thirteen is very young to know how to handle a situation like this. When I was thirteen and dealing with an abusive relationship, I tried to deal with it on my own and although I thought I was handing it okay, looking back I now realize I should have told someone as soon as the problems started. This is a really, really hard situation for both of you to be in, okay? Don't try and deal with this on your own. Tell someone what's going on so your friend can get help and not have to be afraid of this guy.

You mentioned your friend is afraid to talk to someone - which is definitely understandable, especially if he threatens to hurt her worse if she talks. Keep in mind that sometimes, abusive people make empty threats when they're afraid of losing control. It's a way for them to maintain control over the person they're abusing. And that's what this guy may be doing, threatening her in order to keep control. Whether or not these are empty threats, if adults are made aware of what's going on, they will help your friend stay safe from him. There are ways of keeping him away from her so she can't get hurt, and so he doesn't have the chance to carry out these threats if he does indeed mean what he says.

If she's afraid to talk to a teacher - go with her, for moral support. If she freezes, take over for her and tell him/her what's going on. If you can, take pictures of any bruises he's left to use as proof. Talking to someone about this is going to be scary for both of you, but it's also necessary considering she's afraid to leave her house.. it's time to let someone know, okay? It's time to let others be aware of what your friend is dealing with, so she can get the help she needs to get away from this guy, and to heal from what he's put her through.

I'm around if you need anything or want to talk.. make sure you're taking good care of yourself, too. Helping a friend who's being abused isn't easy, and it can be difficult to know what to do or how to help. Best of luck and take care.

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Re: Friend bring abused - October 30th 2010, 11:06 PM

He CAN be stopped. If he's in jail, he can't go anywhere near her again. Get her to tell her family about what is going on, or someone close to her, call the Police and get a protection order against him.
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