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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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YOUR.great.name Offline
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Unhappy Can I cope... - November 10th 2010, 02:46 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My biological dad was sexually abusing me since I was very little. He know that I was not his daughter anymore so he know that he could get away with it. It started off by him touching me on top of my clothes and he made me watch porn and him masturbate himself. About six years ago when I was nine, he raped me. I still remember the day so clear. I was watching a movie and he put his hand on my pelvic area. He told me that it was ok and that every dad does it to his child. Me being dumb and stupid believed him. Then he advanced to start massaging the area. I can see his bulge in his pants like he couldn't take it no more. My brother was not at the house at the time so he couldn't catch him doing this. He pulled off my pants and then my shirt. Then he took off his pants and raped me.
I'm so scared now six years later. I have just told the first person about it. My school chaplain. She is trying to help me out but I have to tell my parents first. I don't know if I'll be able to do it. As a result of all the sexual abuse, I have been cutting for the past 2 and 1/2 years, I've been clinically depressed for over two years, and I've had 4 suicide attempts... I don't know how much longer I can bear this...


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Last edited by YOUR.great.name; November 10th 2010 at 02:47 PM. Reason: Grammar mistake
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Post Re: Can I cope... - November 11th 2010, 05:32 PM

Hey Alicia,

I think it's great that you are reaching out for help with this, this is something serious and
I'm glad that you found the courage to tell someone about this so that you can get help with this.
I know it's going to be extremely hard to tell your parents you want help and why you want help, but, it seems, that in order for you to get help, you are going to have to tell them. You could tell them by first asking them if you can talk to them about something
really important or you can talk to them individually. Also, if you don't feel like you can talk to them, you could write them a letter explaining your feelings and that you want help and that you need there support.
I'm, not there, so I have no idea, but is your dad that raped you the dad you'd have to tell about this? If so, you might want to tell your mom this information first because approaching him about this could be a bad idea, you don't know how he will react and he could possibly deny what he did and that would probably cause a lot of issues, having your mom approach him instead of you might be a better option.
For help with your cutting, you could try some of the alternatives listed at www.teenhelp.org/alternatives
They are categorized by mood, if you find ones that don't help you, don't give up on them, not everything will help everyone. I know because I have used them, that some of them are really helpful, for example, writing, reading, running, listening to music, making hot chocolate, doing homework (if you are like me, this is a good alternative and helps out with issues of procrastination as well) and there are many more alternatives. Some might not be on the list, but if you think of any that work well for you, keep trying them out and if they start to not help, find some more alternatives.
I hope I have helped you out and if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to send me a private message, I'm extremely glad to and willing to help and if you just need to talk to someone, I'll be here. I know you can get through this. :h:


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Can I cope... - November 12th 2010, 03:07 AM

Oh...I am very sorry that you have had to go through this.
But you're strong, though.
Someone is going to miss you if you kill yourself.
My parents abuse me, but not sexually...so I'm not an expert on this.
Maybe you could leave an anonymous tip about your father with the police and get a restraining order against him...then you can move on.
   
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