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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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noname321 Offline
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Question does it count..? - November 14th 2010, 11:51 PM

about a year ago i was in a bad relationship with someone who verbally belittled me and shook me around a lot. So it was like borderline abusive but never quite reached an actual account of abuse. However, because he made me feel so worthless I felt like i had to make it up to him in other ways. I said no countless times but one day i finally gave into doing a certain sexual act with him. While doing it, I said no but he kept going so i pushed him off and started crying. He got upset that he did that to me so he started crying as well and i had to comfort him. However, his convinced me to agree to do it again with him several more times before i finally broke it off with him.
Does it count as rape if I said yes, but we both blatantly know I did not want to do it?
I know it would never hold up in court or anything and Im not going to confront him about it since its long passed, but i just need to know for myself whether it is rape or not. Just thinking about it still makes me feel shitty and worthless. was it completely my fault...?
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Release9 Offline
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Re: does it count..? - November 15th 2010, 02:52 AM

That was rape because you said no at the beginning and he kept going.
As for the abuse, that was probably physical and mental abuse for sure.
If you need to talk, PM me anytime!
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Emily. Offline
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Re: does it count..? - November 15th 2010, 07:33 PM

Hey there,

This is considered rape. Any time you feel unable to say no or you are coerced into sexual acts, it is abuse.

What happened was in no way your fault, hun. He took advantage of your emotions to make you feel like you had to give in to him.

If you haven't already, I really think it could help you to talk to someone about this. Maybe your parents? Or a counselor? You deserve to have support and people there helping you work through this.

I hope you're doing okay and if you ever want to talk, you can PM me anytime.
<3 Emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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