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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Tara. Offline
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How do I help my friend. - May 28th 2011, 07:50 AM

My friend, who btw is not a teen - she 34, recently went back to her husband, this was nearly two months ago. She's been very open about wanting to leave him, and open about his alchol/drug abuse and the fact that he hits her. Based on what she's described it may even be fair to say he beats her. The did seperate, and she said she didn't want to be with him anymore. Though they never divorced. Then one night he called her and said he was going to kill himself. She has two children (they aren't his), but he has never hurt the kids. The children are very angry about my friend and her husband getting back together. Understandably so. The reason I am asking you guys for help is because she is isolating herself. She knows how me and everyone else feels about the situation so she is basically hiding from everyone who cares about her. She won't return texts, won't answer her phone, and is not holding up the things she's said she'd do then later on has an obviously made up exscuse for it. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her, or if I should. Is this even any of my buisness? I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but I don't think she sees any other options. .

I don't want to just do nothing and watch as our friendship dissolves.


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Re: How do I help my friend. - May 28th 2011, 09:23 AM

Often people do go back to abusive relationships as thats all they have known and also because on some level alot of people want to be able to "fix" the person and they do often love the people abusing them. I think your friend is very lucky to have you in her life. Keep talking to your friend, letting her know that you are there for here. Only she can want to leave the relationship you may not like it fair enough but she has to want to leave you cant force her. If she wants to talk to you about the relationship great if not let her do this in her own time. Being there for her and having girl times is good. There is not alot you can do until she wants to break the abusive cycle just be there for her.
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