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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Is she being sexually abused? - June 9th 2011, 02:26 AM

Hello,
I haven't been here for a while, but teenhelp helped me out a lot when I was going through a rough patch a few years ago, and now I really need some advice again. This time not for me, but a family friend. This friend (female) has hinted to me that she's being molested by her dad. I have to be clear, she didn't actually say it, but definitely gave me the impression that something was happening. I spoke to my parents about this, and they basically said it was ridiculous. They pointed out that the girl (who is in her early teens, but who implied it started a few years ago), has always acted very close to her father. This is definitely true, more so when she was younger, but I have memories of her acting very clingy to him, telling him she loved him in front of us, and just generally acting like they got along well. My parents think she's just jealous of his new family life, as he's now remarried, but to me making sexual abuse allegations is a bit of a far fetched thing to to do because of jealousy. I still have my doubts about the whole thing, which is where your opinions come in. I guess what I'm asking is this: would someone who is being sexually abused act lovingly/friendly towards the perpetrator? I would really appreciate the knowledge of people who have been through something like this, although I know that's a huge thing to ask. If you think you can offer some advice, please do! Growing up I was let down by the people who were supposed to look after me, so If my friend is going though this I need to be able to help her.
Thank you so so much,
Chook
   
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Re: Is she being sexually abused? - June 9th 2011, 02:53 AM

Hi there,
I have been through this. I was molested by my dad when I was younger. I never really acted clingy or anything like that towards him, but I didn't act like I hated him, because I didn't want people to find out about it.

Very recently though my family and I suspected that my niece was being sexually abused by her mom's boyfriend. She is very clingy/loving towards him. We still think there is something inappropriate going on between them. I think she acts that way towards him because she never had a father and has always wanted one so badly that I think she would do anything to keep him around, even if he's doing something inappropriate to her.

Anyway, I think you should try talking to your friend about it. Just you and her and see if she's willing to say anything to you. Most likely if you are really good friends and she trusts you, then she will probably tell you more.
   
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