Is she being honest???

[SoraKat]

Hey yall, just had a question.

My friend was raped by her ex boyfriend, and i found out about it today. She says she doesnt even remember what he did to her, she just knows he did stuff, and that she blocked it out immediately.

I want to know if this is the same for anyone else, because i find it unbelieveable. (not that i questioned her.)


thats all, thanks

[Agoraphobia♥]

Actually that's what happened to me when I was molested by my friend's brother. The day after I asked her to do something about it and I was so scared that I blocked it out of my mind, didn't remember it until just over a year ago when my boyfriend then and I were getting more serious and he asked if he could touch me. That's the simple little words that brought the memory back to me of what my friend's brother did to me.

It's actually quite common for people who have gone through something traumatic to block it out and then start to remember things slowly or immediately depending on what brings up the memory and it can be almost anything.

[ChaosControl]

Hey Sora,

I haven't had that experience, but it is very common for people to suppress bad memories. If it's distressing to think about it, the unconscious mind can "bury" the memory so that although certain behaviours are driven by it, the individual cannot clearly recall the event. Like Cheye says, they can be triggered and resurfaced by just about anything.

I can't say whether or not she is being honest, but try to keep an open mind about it, don't be too quick to judge. If it's true, she may or may not want to talk about it, but she will most likely appreciate your support and your being a good friend to her.

Take care.

[missmolly]

This could definatly be true. For me when i was first raped i blocked it out, i knew something had happened just couldnt remember what. Then a few months later i found out i was pregnant and i put 2 and 2 togther and figured out what had happened. Then we me and my new BF had sex the first time it all cam back to me in a flashback, So what your friend has said could be true very easily

[Angel]

It's not uncommon for people to mentally block out traumatizing events as a coping method. Your friend could be telling the truth as far as we all know, we can't really tell if she's being honest with you or not. Since this is so sensitive of an issue, I think it would be great if you would trust your friend with this one- I can't imagine it would be too easy to tell someone that this has happened to you, no? Try and be a good friend to her like you've always been. I'm sure she will appreciate it.

[Trinapeach]

Just read a few of the replies already & I definitely agree that when something like that happens most people block it out. I blocked it out for more than a year & even though I told people at the time what had happened it was only because the scum excuse of a boy was telling people we had amazing sex & I was so shocked & offended by that. Infact it's reallly sad how I reacted about it in the first place but I understand now that it made sense & I sorta laughed about it happening (If you dno't laugh you cry) & carried on acting wild untill it hit me later on in life unexpectedly I agree with Angel completely in that it is a very sensitive subject & you'd have to be pretty sick to make something like that up. Give her the benefit of the doubt completely & try & be there to support her as best you can. Something I wish I had done earlier at the time was to report it sooner but me & my friends were too naive & scared.. see if that's an option and i deffo recommend reporting it? There are places that you can go to that specialise in sexual abuse where they examine you earlier on & you don't have to choose to report it then but your evidence can be stored if you chose to later on in life. I hope your friend's okay. Kind regards x

[Le bonheur*]

Yes it's possible. It's called "repressed memory". When people block out traumatic experiences and have it come back to them when something triggers it.
Such as, I was raped when I was 10; then when I was 15 I had a sexually abusive boyfriend and the things he said brought back the memories of being raped.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

It could be true. I know that I've blocked out memories. & If she's lying, that's her own business & you should respect it anyways. Rape isn't an easy thing to go through & a lot of victims would just like to forget (which is why a lot of rape victims don't like to testify in court).

[Revolution]

Blocking the method out is a coping method. Also, it is very uncommon for victims to lie about being attacked. Usually when they say they were raped, and then take it back, they're lying about not being raped, and they're scared. Victims rarely lie about the event happening. So, I would believe her.

[SoraKat]

Thanks all, i really appreciate it