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Cali Gurl Offline
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confusion - August 19th 2011, 01:38 AM

So, When i was 12 my mom and her step husband were in a bad marriage and i was very stuck inbetween them because i had a close relationship with my step father because my own father had never really been there for me. He was taking me to and from my pop warner cheerleading and we played this "game" were he would pinch my very iner thiegh and he would eg me on to do the same to him. i never really thought anything of it. he would also put his tounge in my ear and i didnt like it..

well my mom and her husbands relationship fell a part and he beat her up . A few months after this ( i was then 13) she asked me if he had done anything very like it should and told me if there was ever anything odd.. and she said like did he touch you in inapropriat places like your breasts or legs and well i told her about the "game" we had played. she kept questioning me like there should have been more..

so i guess after her questioning i just made something out of nothing i think.. and now years later the restraining order that we had on him is over (from him beating her).

She has gotten the cops involved and they are questioning me.. IM SCARED because im not sure if i really was sexually abused. I feel like my mind is playig tricks on me i start to believe that he did things and then i dont. It is like if you keep telling your self you remember something you start to think it really happened. but what if it didnt??

Now no doubt this guy isnt a good person but i dont believe that if anything really didnt happen i should lie to the cops about it. I have had panik attack when certain things happen like sexual stuff but what if that is just in fear of what my mom has put in my head?

Im so confused on what to do ... help please ..any input is good.
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Re: confusion - August 19th 2011, 05:29 AM

Do you feel victimized? I know I would play games with uncles and cousins like this and felt nothing of it, but if you didn't like it, you have the right to feel like you did.
It's about what you felt, not what happened with your mother. Don't let her influence affect you, or the fact that you don't want to get him in trouble. Tell them exactly how you felt about it.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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