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**Theresa** Offline
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need adivce!!!! - August 27th 2011, 10:58 PM

Well i was sexually abuse by my grandmother when i was smaller, and now i am getting memories that i was being abused by other people....

Well lately i have been getting more flashbacks and nightmares, and when i get these their are men and only two women and they are people holding me down so that i cant more and first it would start off with one person but then towards the end there are about three people trying to put things in me or even trying to push it in, and other people could be sucking my breast and when i would ask why one of them would say because we made lose the thing inside and we dont want anyone else to know.

At times when i would start crying they would make it hurt more and they would slap me and tell me that i wanted it and that i needed to enjoy it.....

my question is how can i move on from this!!!!!
i dont want it affecting my life
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alibear101 Offline
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Re: need adivce!!!! - August 28th 2011, 12:26 PM

Hey hun! Wow, I am so sorry for you having to experience that! no one should ever have to go through anything of that sort. No one can go through this kind of thing alone. I know from personal experience the only way to move on is by talking through it to someone, whether that is a counsellor at your school, a therapist or someone on here! Or me, I am always here to talk to anyone that wants to and you are certainly no exception! you seem like an awesome girl! Message me anytime.

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Jenna Peterson Offline
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Re: need adivce!!!! - August 31st 2011, 06:13 AM

Hi Theresa. First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you and what you're going through now. It's not right, nor fair, that any of this happened to you.

I was abused & raped by my father as a child & young teen, and I dealt with the kind of memories & flashbacks you're describing. They're horrible, I know! I'm not a psychologist, so I can't "diagnose you," but if any real psychologist disagreed with my suggestion that you're dealing with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I'd be thoroughly amazed. I've been dealing with PTSD for years, and I can promise you that it does get better, but only if you get help. Tell someone about your flashbacks. The best way to get through this and move on is to talk about it.

For me, I was 15 when the abuse stopped and 18 when the memories/flashbacks/nightmares started to intrude on my life. I'm 23 now, and I rarely have flashbacks anymore. Mostly it's just the occasional errant thought or dream about seeing him again, unexpectedly. I've been able to get to this point because of the people who've supported me. I've spoken with some wonderful counsellors, I've shared everything with my mother & sister (who were both also abused by him, as you might expect), and I was lucky enough to have a very understanding boyfriend at 19/20 when I was dealing with the worst of it.

So, yeah. It gets a lot better as long as you tell people and talk about it. We're all here for you on TH. PM me if you'd like Good luck!

The walls are high, the walls are strong
I've been trapped in this castle that I built for far too long
You have surrounded me, a sea on every side
The cracks are forming and I've got no where to hide
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**Theresa** Offline
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Re: need adivce!!!! - September 1st 2011, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by **Theresa** View Post
sucking my breast and when i would ask why one of them would say because we made lose the thing inside and we dont want anyone else to know.
this is the thing that hurts me most that they got me preganat and they made me lose the baby!
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