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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xRTx Offline
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Just some advice please - March 18th 2009, 04:11 AM

Okay, I've been raped in the past year or so by my ex. I was wondering if reporting it to the police will be okay to do now (I know hes done it to other people and has also been arrested in the past for an accusation of statoury rape which he got away with because of lack of evidence) and whether it will help me get over it...I've been told it might and that the fact that he's already been arrested in the past will strengthen my case against him.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Just some advice please - March 18th 2009, 04:22 AM

I would go to the police and file a report. Just because you don't have evidence doesn't mean they can't prove the case.

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Re: Just some advice please - March 18th 2009, 04:44 AM

I would definitely report it. It doesn't matter when it happened or how much evidence there is, lawyers can do great things, plus he was previously accused which would definitely help your side. It would have helped if you had a rape test and such, but still, reporting it is best. You could potentially save other girls from this. Hope it works out.
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Re: Just some advice please - March 19th 2009, 12:31 AM

No matter how much time has passed since it happened, definitely try reporting it. If they say it's been too long, at least you know you tried and sometimes trying is enough. However I don't think they'll tell you it's been too long, because if he has a record this can definitely strengthen your case, yes.

Reporting it could really help you gain closure as well, as you said, because holding it back and bottling it up is just going to make you feel worse in the long run...there's only so much a person can hold inside until it gets to be too much, you know? Once you've reported it, it could feel like a huge weight lifted from your shoulders because you know you won't be alone and there's a really good chance he'll go to jail, which means he won't be able to hurt anyone else.

I don't know whether or not you're currently in counseling but if you aren't, I really suggest at least considering it because talking about what happened can really help when it comes to recovering from something as traumatic as rape. Journaling is something else that can be a huge help because again, you're getting it out of your head and onto paper, it can help with organizing your thoughts and sorting through what happened.

Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything, ok? Stay strong and take care of yourself.

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Re: Just some advice please - March 19th 2009, 04:06 PM

If you feel able to report it, then I definately would advise you to. By you doing that can help bring evidence to the previous case and it would be more suspicious if more people come forward and say that he raped them.
It can also clear your head and can help you get over it knowing that you've done something to help yourself, and future girls that he could attack.

You're being really brave by thinking of this, well done!

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Re: Just some advice please - March 19th 2009, 07:03 PM

It's all up to you, but I really think it would be a good idea to report this. They may shove it aside and not deal with it, but even if that's the case, at least you know that you did the right thing. If the same person raped another girl in the future, I really think that if you haven't reported it you will wish that you had. Plus, getting it off your chest and finally just getting it out there might even help you overcome it a bit, right? Take care. x

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Re: Just some advice please - March 20th 2009, 03:05 AM

I was raped by a friend of mine, a really close friend, someone I had known for nearly 2 years before the rape . He raped me twice before I told, && when I finally did tell it was 2 years after the first rape && 1 year after the second .

It doesnt matter when it happend, its the fact that it did happen && even if you're worried about the lack of evidence dnt be . Because he's previously known for things like this it should stregthen your case && make it better for you . He needs to be in jail && you shouldnt stress over the evidence .

I stressed over lack of evidence, && im not going to lie my trial is coming up && im still a little worried but I have faith that his past && my concrete statement along with the help of the attorney, detectives, && my friends that this monster will be put in jail .

You should tell the police, but only when you're ready .
Dont rush it, because rushing it will only make the sitation way more uncomfortable then it already will be
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Smile Re: Just some advice please - March 20th 2009, 06:41 AM

I don't know the time limit I think it was 5 years but either way if you report it and it has been to long it could help someone else. The more evidence they have against him the easier it will be to put him away. It may take a long time. You may have to be patient. No one can say it will help you get over it but it just might. Its better then wishing you had for the rest of your life not knowing wether it would have put him away or not. People like him need to be stoped. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. It is hard to tell someone else and face it all. It all becomes real. If you ever need to talk you can message me. Take Care.


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Re: Just some advice please - March 23rd 2009, 12:05 AM

You should still try and report it. There are statues of limitation for a time limit, but that doesn't usually come into play unless it has been over 7 years.
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Re: Just some advice please - March 23rd 2009, 12:28 AM

If he has done this to others, try to find out who those others are & see if you can talk them into coming forward w/you & report him together. There is strength in numbers! Even if the others won't come forward, report him anyway. Like foreverautumn, if your not in counseling, PLEASE concider going b/c its very bad for you to keep this all inside. PTSD from the rape has very bad side effects & I would hate to see you go thru them if you don't have to. Its good to get this off of your chest & you'll feel better a/b yourself in the end. If you want to talk a/b this, feel free to PM me.
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Re: Just some advice please - March 23rd 2009, 01:04 AM

You should still tell someone. As reminisce said, don't worry about the evidence. Once you tell someone about it, you should feel a lot better, like a burden has been taken off your back.
Good luck, dear. PM me if you'd like to talk.

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Re: Just some advice please - March 23rd 2009, 12:55 PM

As everyone else recommended if you are comfortable with it then your best bet is to report it. Since he has done things similar to others in the past that establishes a pattern of behavior which can be brought to light at your trial (if you choose to go ahead with one) and used as heavy evidence against him. Regardless of your choice I am sure you will make the right decision for you and that is the important thing. Good luck with whatever you decide. Stay strong and take care.

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