TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xdanixgirlx Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
xdanixgirlx's Avatar
 
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 13
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Don't know what to think. - March 18th 2009, 04:48 AM

Last summer I was sexually abused. I truely beleive it wasn't his fault. I was too timid about it. To my knowledge, he doesn't know anything was wrong. I have not spoken to him since that happened, and didn't really see him either. Recently though, I've been seeing him around campus. Although it brings painful memories, I've found myself to still be attracted to him. That in itself is making me feel guilty. Is this normal? Or am I completely twisted?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
ForeverAutumn* Offline
together, we are infinite.
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
ForeverAutumn*'s Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 843
Blog Entries: 20
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Don't know what to think. - March 19th 2009, 12:42 AM

Hey,

Everyone reacts differently, there's no normal way of reacting to sexual abuse because everyone is different. Reactions depend a lot of the time, on the circumstances surrounding the abuse...how you felt when it was happening, whether you told someone about it after, etc. It's ok, if you still feel a bit attracted to him. No one says you definitely have to hate or feel angry towards the person who hurt you, everyone's different so no one can tell you how to react or feel. You aren't twisted at all.

Do you think it really matters if you were timid about it? You didn't ask him to hurt you. He made the choice, he made the decision to abuse you, you didn't make that decision for him. It's hard to think clearly when something like this is happening. Generally there are three 'modes' your body will go into - fight, flight, or freeze. Some people fight back, some run away, and some freeze up and don't know what to do. That being said, it's ok, how you reacted when he was hurting you. You might have felt afraid and unsure what to do or maybe wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, whether subconsciously or otherwise..if that makes sense? What I'm trying to say is that being timid, it's a natural reaction, it's ok to have reacted that way.

Did you report him? That might be something to really think about, to let someone know what he did to you. Staying silent is the worst thing you can do, it hurts you more in the long run to bottle it all up. If you don't feel comfortable reporting him just yet, try telling a close, trusted friend first, someone you can go to for support when you're struggling. Friends know you best and they're your friends for a reason, because they care about you and want to see you ok, and want to help where they can. They're the ones who know you best and can pick you up when you fall, they always know how to make you smile or laugh.

I'm here if you'd ever like to talk about anything, ok? Take care of yourself, hang in there.



how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
self-harm free since 06.10.11.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Magical Forest. Offline
Crazy Penguin Lady
I can't get enough
*********
 
Magical Forest.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hannah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 2,939
Blog Entries: 676
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Don't know what to think. - March 19th 2009, 04:03 PM

Heya,

You're not 'twisted' for thinking that, a lot of people who have been sexually abused have those sorts of thoughts, me included. People react in different ways, so no reaction is a 'right' one, just whatever your body chooses to do to cope with the incident.

Still being attracted to him isn't weird, if you knew the guy before then of course there are good memories attached to him and they're all mixed up with the bad ones. I was friends with someone that assaulted me and it's still hard now, he was a close friend and I miss how we were.

Hope you're okay
x
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Minddr Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Minddr's Avatar
 
Name: Jonathan
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posts: 31
Join Date: March 22nd 2009

Re: Don't know what to think. - March 22nd 2009, 10:39 PM

I"m sorry that you were sexually abused. The thing a/b sexual abuse is that if you do not do something a/b the feelings that are made by it. Those feelings are gonna end up eating away at you & there is a very good chance that you will end with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & depression, among other things. You NEED to tell someone a/b what happened to you like an adult, & above all, REPORT this kid for what he did to you to the police. Sexual abuse is a crime!! If he did that w/you, he'll end up doing it to other girls. BTW, if he sexually abused you, then it IS HIS FAULT!! If you'd like to talk further a/b this, feel free to contact me a/b it. I"ve helped alot ppl who have been in your situation.
  Send a message via AIM to Minddr Send a message via MSN to Minddr Send a message via Yahoo to Minddr  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
attraction, guilty, sexual abuse

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.