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BBM Offline
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Name: . alise .
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Violent Brother - March 18th 2009, 10:59 AM

i have a twin brother - he suffers from adhd, and honestly, all i can say about him is that he has serious anger issues. it not only scares me to no end, but i wish he would just... stop. he has physically hurt me in the past, although, he hasn't done so in about an year. now, all he does is insult me most of the time and tries to make me feel as bad as possible (at least, that's what i think). his attitude makes me so irritable to the point where i have the urge to hurt myself again (which, i end up doing), and so i lock myself somewhere private and just... start punching myself, as i can't control the anger and irritiability i want to vent out to him any longer. and when he's angry, he's angry. it frightens me terribly, and he begins making racial slurs/insults/words he doesn't intend to say. it's like it's not even him. i don't know what to do. honestly, i'm a bit scared to even go tell anyone, as i'm afraid he'll hurt me. and he doesn't take his medication, because he doesn't want to, although he claims to his psychiatrist he does - but i can't tell him... i'm scared that my brother will end up hurting me again.
hah, sorry for the long rant. ^^; i punched myself like crazy today, so i thought i could get some advice on how to deal with hormonal teenagers like him.

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Re: Violent Brother - March 18th 2009, 03:13 PM

Hey Alise! Welcome to the boards. Gah, gorgeous avatar picture - it's so..I dunno. It's pretty though. And 80+ posts in less than four days? Pretty impressive! I'm Katrina; it's good to pseudo-meet you.

Okay, I understand your brother not wanting to take his medicine; honestly, I have ADHD, and I absolutely hate my medication with a fiery, burning passion. I hate the way that it makes me feel, and I hate the way that it makes me think about myself, and I really just hate everything about it. [But, I digress]. However, him being violent and using the ADHD as a crutch of sorts? Not okay. If taking and not taking his medication makes the difference between him being violent and abusive towards you or not, he needs to take his medicine!

How understanding do you think your parents might be? I think you should talk to one of them, either your mom or your dad, privately, and tell them what's been going on. I know this would probably be a huge step for you and would take a lot of courage, but I do think someone needs to know what's going on. You're worth so much more than he makes you out to be. [: Truly. You're your own person, and it's not fair for you to be hurting yourself over what he says and does. If you don't think you would be comfortable talking to your parents yet, perhaps you would feel okay with calling up a hotline? They would work with you to figure out the next step with this, taking into account all the variables [like that you feel he'd hurt you more if he found out]. A list of hotline numbers for the United States can be found here, so yeah, definitely check that out if you get the chance.

Let's see, what else did I want to say here? I think that's about all, but Alise, please do take care of yourself. To repeat myself, you are worth taking measures to stop how your brother has been treating you. Let us know how things work out, okay?

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Re: Violent Brother - March 18th 2009, 06:31 PM

haha, thanks. i guess this forum would make me post more than i thought i would. thanks for the introduction
i'm not necessarily sure if the medication helps out my brother, because he's hardly taken it, and it's a very tiny amount if he does... so, i really am not sure if the medicine helps him at all, although he claims that it does.
my parents are very understanding (well, my dad.... he's not family), but my mom has been abused in the past by my father, so she understands. but, my brother talks back to my mom. there was this one time (last summer), where he... just exploded, started screaming like a madman. my mom and brother spent hours arguing, and my brother just finally calmed down. it was scary. my mom told me teenager boys do this 'typically' (i know...), and i have a feeling she's a bit scared too. although, my brother hardly ever acts out in frony of my mom, so it's really only with me. and then there's the whole fact that i'm afraid that he's going to hurt me if i do tell someone. he hasn't hesitated before.
thank you for those hotlines, i'll be checking those out. i'll let you know how things work out, although, this was just a rant. i don't think i'm going to do anything... ^^;

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Re: Violent Brother - March 23rd 2009, 12:02 AM

Hi Alise, welcome to the board. I"m sorry to hear that your brother has this BAD anger management problem. "Teenage boys do this typically"--umm, I don't think so! Teenage boys don't typically don't explode & start screaming like a madman. If a boy does this, there's something wrong going on. Your brother NEEDS to be shown BOUNDARIES as far as whats acceptable behavior & its up to your parents do be doing this. If he doesn't respect your mom since he talks back to your mom, then its up to your dad to have a SERIOUS talk w/him a/b his behavior!!! I know that your bro not taking his med is the problem w/his anger & such. My son is ADHD & i've seen the same kinda attitude in him when he's not on his med. If he doesn't want to take it, then its up to your parents to make SURE that he takes it!!! Your parents NEED TO BE TOLD that your brother harms you emotionally & physically---him harming you should NOT BE TOLERATED & is UNACCEPTABLE behavior. There are laws that are being broken here & that your parents need to address these, or your brother could be taken out of the home by social services b/c of your safety is being threatened by him. PLEASE Alise, tell your mom what your brother is doing to you & how he's threatened you. Even if this is a rant, by not doing anything---abuse doesn't ever stop, it only gets WORSE with time!! Think a/b this Alise, & if you want to talk more a/b it, PM me & we'll talk. I"ve got alot of experience w/abuse & also w/ADHD.
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